when i first got my own class of students, in the fall of 2005, i started what would become a little tradition.  on september 11th of every year, i invited my students - 11th and 12th graders - to share their memories of 9/11 because i think there is power - and catharsis - in telling those stories.  i have very vivid memories of the moment i found out about the attack and the moments after that, and i don't think i'm alone in that.

and every year, my students were younger and younger when 9/11 happened.  stories changed from "i was in middle school" to "i was in elementary school and our teachers didn't want to tell us and then my mom picked me up early" - memories they were only on the periphery of.  today i teach kids born in 1997 and 1998.  they were too young to remember, really, and today i didn't ask them to reflect on it as a class.  14 years.  since my students no longer have personal memories of that day, is it time to call it history?

i'm doing - as you can tell - some reflection today.

what i'm listening to right now

when i went to boarding school in 11th grade, the girls on my hall were this amazing group of young women who were funny and goofy and sweet and smart and we had great adventures together.  i had been the "smart kid" at my old high school, but here i was an average kid, and i loved that - loved being surrounded by other smart kids and fitting in in a way i hadn't at my old school.  in a life where i am incredibly lucky to have made special special friends in many places, these friends were perhaps my first special friends.

this boarding school had a ton of homework, and my life was school and homework and soccer and hanging out with friends in our dorm rooms and occasional forays into town for a cheap burrito.  my memory of 11th grade also includes a LOT of time spent in front of my hand-me-down desktop computer, playing heroes of might and magic with my friend sara, with katie occasionally sprawled out on the bed next to us offering her critique of the situation.  tracy chapman's self-titled album played on the CD player perched on the shelf above the computer, and if the game was particularly good we would have to push play again when the album ended.  this sounds like the smallest pleasure in life, but it was awesome.

this morning i heard sam smith's version of "fast car" on the radio and fell in love with that song all over again.


you know those songs that take you immediately back to a specific time and place?  this one takes me to 2C in 1999 and to the friends who surrounded me there.

laurie

this weekend is the 4th annual reunion of jenny, laurie, and me.  we worked together in atlanta for a few years until jenny moved to idaho and laurie retired and moved to new hampshire.  laurie was a huge mentor to me and jenny, and for the past three years we've gotten together for a weekend (one year in idaho, twice in new hampshire, and now in texas - each with other friends tagging along, but schedules didn't work out for those friends to come this year).  though laurie is at least thirty years older than us, she is a great friend and so easy to spend time with.  she gives incredibly sage advice on our careers in education, saying often throughout our friendship: "when you run your own school…"  we love that - she believes we could run a school one day.

i'm thinking of laurie this week since i know i will see her this weekend, and i realized i've started doing something she does - something i used to consider unthinkable.  laurie said she would always drive to school in the morning in silence - no radio on - just her thoughts to get her ready for her day.  i could never do this, listening to NPR or a podcast or the bits and pieces of music through the talk radio show jabber.  but i've found myself doing it this year - turning the radio off and driving to school in silence once or twice a month, with just the white noise of the car and some time to think.  it's not as bad as i imagined.

cookbooks

when my grandma died last year, among her belongings that were passed down were a bunch of cookbooks.  i love to cook, as this blog can attest, and i have a lot of food memories of my grandma: being forced to eat this gross ground beef/potato/apple (is this memory even correct?) casserole as a child, making cookies with her in the kitchen on many occasions, being taught to make the fruit cake recipe for my dad.

both before and after she passed away i got some of her cookbooks.  today you get a tour of them.

cookbook 1: the new york times cookbook from 1961

for about the last 10 years of her life, my grandma kept trying to give away some of her belongings.  "look through the bookshelf and take some books!"  "would you have any use for…?"  her belongings had already been condensed to fit into a tiny apartment and were being reduced even more to fit into her room when she moved into the skilled nursing facility.  this is a book that i took during my last visit to see her before she died, when it was clear that, yes, there wasn't room for all her books anymore.

cookbook 2: staples' treasure of personal recipes from 1952

grandma grew up in staples, minnesota, and this is a cookbook that the women in her parents' church put together.  she gave me this book even earlier - maybe 7 or 8 years ago when i went to visit.  inside - and shown below - is mrs. kenneth kingsley's recipe for fruit cake, which must be made around the holidays.  grandma showed my sister and i how to make it - measuring crisco from a can into a measuring cup because that's what the recipe said - and then gave me the book.  (don't worry, when i remember to make this for dad, who loves it, we use margarine instead of crisco.)  i love that this recipe says to cook the fruit cake "in lower oven in 3 coffee cans."  below my grandma has translated this: 325 degrees.

cookbook 3: betty crocker's picture cookbook from 1950

this is a book i was incredibly touched to receive.  after my grandma died, we held a memorial service for her at my parents' farm.  we set up a little exhibition of her things in one of the rooms of our house, and family members took things as the weekend ended.  this cookbook was left behind, i thought accidentally, but my aunt monica wanted me to have it.  this was grandma's daily cookbook, and it is so well-loved...stained from years of cooking with it open on the counter...with handwritten notes...duct-taped back together...extra recipes shoved between pages.

ruby likes the illustrations.

the cookies page was definitely the most well-used.

cookbook 4: gold medal flour cookbook from 1910

this little paper cookbook was my great-grandmother's and is 103 years old.  i was baking this morning (peach muffins to bring to a meeting that i'm leading tomorrow), and thought this was a fitting picture.  i should be in an ad.  gold medal flour people: call me.

i think this cookbook must have been one you sent away for after buying so many bags of flour; it's personalized with my great-grandmother's name (lilah poore) on the cover.  this cookbook, too, is well-loved: stained and taped together and a little crumbly at the corners from its age.

it's one big advertisement for the flour, but has tons of recipes, too.  gold medal people: i will even stand in this pose for our TV ad if you want me to.

this thanksgiving we'll have my grandma's green bean casserole and blueberry cobbler on the table.  we'll keep eating the same things that have been eaten in our family for years and years…and years and years to come.

jurassic park in 3D imax

i saw jurassic park in a theater in durham during the summer of 1993.  i was 10.  i had just finished 5th grade, and i was at the bad-ass summer camp run by the math teacher at my school, where we learned card games, watched and analyzed tv commercials, and probably did other things that i can't remember.  it was awesome.

one day of camp we went to the movies in the afternoon, and the younger kids (me) were supposed to see some movie that was rated PG, and the older kids went to see jurassic park (PG-13).  my friend molly's older sister was an older kid, and she and her friends went to see jurassic park.  molly and i bought tickets to the lame kids movie and then went to jurassic park, too.  rebellion!!  it was so freaking scary (during the kitchen scene, i remember thinking "this PG-13 rating is legit and i am too young to see this"), and also it ran longer than the weenie movie, so when we emerged into the parking lot the kids our age had already gotten on the bus to go back to school.  we had been caught sneaking into the other movie!!!  but no one yelled at us.  that was awesome.

fast forward TWENTY YEARS.  jurassic park just got re-released in 3D imax and i went to see it this weekend with my friend talia.  (we saw a preview for it a couple months ago and were like "we must see this!")  3D glasses have gotten cooler/less cool (you choose) since i last wore 3D glasses.  this is me being scared of the movie to come.

we are getting our scared faces ready.

3D imax movie tickets are $21.  TWENTY-ONE DOLLARS.  i had a discount ticket thing, so i only paid $15.  it felt like the bargain of the century.

not pictured: the wine and chipotle burritos we snuck in.  i'm still a rebel.

um, this movie STANDS THE TEST OF TIME.  for a while we just laughed at the 90s hair and clothing and technology.  then there were scary parts, but i remembered that they were coming.  then there were scary parts that i did NOT remember and they were so scary!!  velociraptors in the room with the circuit breakers!!  but for a PG-13 movie it's pretty tame...not much blood at all, no sex, you don't see anyone die.  times have changed.  PG-13 movies now-a-days often have lots of those things.

also, the music was as awesome as i remembered.  also #2, samuel l. jackson is in this movie.  how did i forget that?!

also #3, about 95% of people in that theater were 27-33 years old like us, aka reliving their childhoods.

totally worth $15.

oh, that's right: it's fall in new york.  today i'm wearing corduroys (my favorite kind of pants!), a long-sleeved shirt, and a sweater.  i love it.  (please don't ruin this moment by discussing what the weather will be like in 2 months.)

i have a vivid memory of being like 5 years old and hating corduroys because i thought everyone could hear my pants swishing as i walked, and i was self-conscious of this.  consequently, i wore a lot of skirts.  looking back, i find this hilarious.  swish away, pants!  you are so comfy and pretty that i no longer care.

roasted corn salsa, attempt #2

my corn salsa turned out great the second time around!  here is the recipe, modified from rachael ray's crazy one that didn't turn out so well:
1. saute a diced red onion.  add half a finely chopped jalapeno and two cups of thawed frozen corn and cook some more.  maybe another 3 minutes?  salt and pepper it.
2. put the onion/corn/jalapeno mixture in a bowl and add half a pineapple, chopped pretty small.  mix.  eat.  yum.

the salsa is a little sweet, but oh-so-yummy if you like a sweet-ish salsa.

i took this salsa over to mike and kelly's house last night, where we had chili (kelly made some great veggie chili for me - she is awesome!) and talked and played a new-to-us board game called alibi.  alibi is basically the board game clue on steroids.  very fun, though it took a while to get the strategy figured out.  now let me tell you a story about my love of clue.

when i was younger my family would spend thanksgiving most years with my dad's family at my uncle's family's vacation home.  it was this kind of paradise to me as a child, and i think those thanksgivings together are the reason i'm so close to my dad's family.  there were maids who made our beds, stables with horses to ride, golf carts to drive around on, an indoor swimming pool, trees to climb, seated dinners, and lots of board games.  one thanksgiving my cousin nate (who was, i think, approximately 6 years old at the time) recited all the presidents in order.  i was obviously jealous.  one thanksgiving we played clue approximately 30 times.*  one thanksgiving we played this amazing game called murder in the dark; another time my uncle introduced the kids to the game 20 questions.  MY FAMILY LOVES GAMES.  i have very fond memories of this place and of playing with my cousins.  and somehow clue is tied up in it.

*this is obviously a gross exaggeration.

crepes

when i was younger my family would go to my aunt and uncle's house in delaware about once a year - usually at christmastime, if i recall correctly.  my uncle john would make crepes at some point every year - this was a tradition in their family and the crepes were DELICIOUS.  when i was in florida in january for my grandma's birthday celebration, i asked him for the recipe.  and today i tried it!  i made a half batch and filled the crepes with cottage cheese and strawberries sweetened with honey.  AMAZING.  just sweet enough, but they felt very light and healthy and i am adding "crepe maker" to my list of skills on my resume.  i can see myself making these frequently, as they don't require any special ingredients.  here's the recipe, courtesy of my uncle john:

From Fannie Farmer:


2 eggs
1 cup milk
½ teaspoon salt
1 cup flour
2 tablespoons melted butter


Mix eggs first then add other ingredients (all at room temperature)


Beat until smooth; let stand for 30 minutes


Heat small (5-7 inch) pan to medium heat


Film with butter


Pour several tablespoons of batter in the pan an immediately tilt the pan to coat the bottom with a thin even coating (as thin as possible)


Flip when lightly brown and cook the other side


Filling: ½ cottage cheese, ½ fruit yogurt (or anything else you might desire)

15

today is the 15th anniversary of the day i became a vegetarian.

yes, i have kept track of it.  yes, i know that's ridiculous.  no, i can't help it.

may 25, 1996.  i made the decision that i was going to become a vegetarian for a week to see if i could do it.  i was 13.  13 year old me thought it would be a fun experiment.  but that night mom made pasta salad for dinner, from a kit, and the kit contained bacon bits that were all over the (completed) pasta salad.  i have this VIVID memory of that - of standing in the kitchen and realizing that i had failed just as soon as i started, and i made a decision that i would become a vegetarian tomorrow.  post-bacon bits.  so that was the last meat i ate on purpose: bacon bits.

may 26, 1996 it began.  in the 15 years since that date have i ever taken a bite (or more) of something and realized there was meat in it afterwards?  of course.  have i ever knowingly eaten meat?  no.  that week's experiment just kept going and has turned into 780 weeks (and counting).  i'm proud of this.  i can't imagine a situation in which i would go back to eating animals.  (but their delicious cheese?  why yes, please.)

when i tell people i'm a vegetarian i'm often asked why.  i don't exactly know what made me do it, what made me take that leap, but this is what i think: i was raised on a dairy farm.

(you know you want to see this picture again.)

we ate vegetables from the garden and eggs from the chickens and deer that the neighbors shot on our land and beef from cows we owned.  animals died and i saw death.  i don't think a lot of people are that close to their food - or that close to living things that die.  i was sensitive to where my food was coming from - i was (and am) just plain sensitive.  i don't like to see people or animals in pain.  most animals that we eat live painful lives and then are killed - but in the 21st century, in an industrialized and urbanized america, we don't see any of that.  if people had to raise and slaughter their own animals they would absolutely eat less meat.  i'm not willing to kill a shrimp so i don't eat shrimp.  i guess it's more complicated than that, but you know what i mean.

i'll step down from my soapbox now.

les mis

last night PBS aired a concert of les miserables from london in honor of the show's 25th anniversary.  of course i watched - i love this musical.  i saw it in london 11 years ago when i was a senior in high school.  my high school had a week right after spring break when you were supposed to take on some special project and study it in detail.  one year you could take a trip, which is what i did my senior year - went to london for a week.  i have very vivid memories from seeing this show and being so swept up in the music that i almost forgot where i was.  yes, i will join you in your revolution!  make space for me on stage!

you should know that i have journaled as long as i've, you know, been able to string sentences together on paper.  and i have all these journals because i'm a hoarder.  it is mostly awkward to reread what i wrote in my angst-y years, but occasionally fun to remember what i was thinking at that moment.  this blog, of course, is an extension of those journals.

so, you ask, if i've got the journals what WAS i thinking when i first saw this show?  funny you should ask:

3-13-00
[lots of blah-blahing about what we did that day...]
...then to "les miserables" - AWESOME!  was great...i'll have to listen to katie's CD when we get back.  note to self: [learn to] paint like salvador dali, marry marius.

yes, friends.  at 17 my life goals were to paint like salvador dali and marry a fictional character from les mis.  good times.  i wonder if my 17 year old self would be disappointed that i have achieved neither of these goals.  (yet.)

rainy friday

today: rainy, cold, friday.
me: sick, tired, wishing i was in my pajamas already.
tonight's plan: the couch, pajamas, lots of movies.

I PRETTY MUCH CAN'T WAIT.

you'll be happy to know that after my 6.5 hour nap on wednesday and then watching the duke game, i was able to fall back asleep for about 4 hours (aka until my alarm went off).  and yet i still feel like i've got a sleep deficiency. what am i, an 18 year old boy?

[side note: my parents' best friends have four kids who are 1, 3, 5, and 7 years older than me.  i remember when the oldest boy (barney) came home from college for the first time - i would have been 11ish and he would have been 18ish - and becky and i went over to their house to play with the kids who were closer to our age, as we often did.  and barney laid on the living room floor, face down, and slept for like the whole day.  while we played games around him.  he was the first college student i knew, and i couldn't believe a person could sleep that long or with that much noise.  vivid memory from my childhood.]

"what is...?"

a final jeopardy from last week:

of course you know where this is going: i knew the answer (first AND last name) and was really proud of myself, whereas the silly jeopardy contestants did not.  i am amazing!  my ability to answer this question comes from reading two of these books in an english class in college.  an epic english class that willis and i still quote: "protestants reign supreme!"  "a stay against death!"  it was a pretty awesome class and it was the beginning of my friendship with willis, so DOUBLE AWESOME.

so...anyone know the answer?  willis: i expect you to ring in.

"the best thing about having a sister was that i always had a friend" --cali rae turner

26 years ago today, i got a sister.

this is us with our grandma in what has to be 1985.  by my estimates, i'm 2 and a half.  becky is some (small) number of months old.  grandma is 66.  every farm kid needs overalls, and mine are purple.  life is good.

time has passed.  who knows how old we are here.  i mean, really - i have no clue.  i do know that i started to grow out my bangs in second grade, so this is before that.  i like that my turtleneck is tucked into my skirt - an excellent fashion statement.  and we have somehow convinced dad to include the cat in the photo.  now, we were farm girls, but boy did we like to wear dresses.  here is photographic evidence of that.

i know i've posted this photo before, but this is my blog, damn it, and i'll post it again if i want to.  here we are in 2010, ages 25 and 27.  loch ness, scotland.

now, there aren't a lot of things in life that i know for certain, but here is one of them: if and when i have children, i'll have more than one.  for every childhood adventure, becky was alongside me.  every less-than-pleasant time, she was there, too.  if i need to talk to her, she always answers the phone.  she tells me when i'm being ridiculous and when i'm not.  what do people without siblings DO?

26 years ago today, i got a sister.  i have no memory of that day, but i have a lot of memories of the days spent with her since then.  happy birthday, beck - i love you more than i can put into words.

my love of ken and trivia

you know ken jennings?  the guy who won 74 games of jeopardy! in a row?  i love him.  when he was on his run of 74 wins in a row, i was working at TIP (nerdy summer camp that i worked at for six summers from 2001 to 2006), and jeopardy! was on at a time during the day when we had to run activities for students.  ann marie had a tv/vcr combo in her room, and she would tape jeopardy! every day and then we would play the tape after the kids went to bed.  and ken just kept on winning and we kept on cheering him on.  (it was awesome.)  so i have this great memory of watching the show with some really good friends at a summer program that was one of the best experiences of my life (for the following reasons: 1 - it made me realize i wanted to be a teacher, which i now am and can't imagine a more perfect job for me; 2 - i made some of my best friends while working there; 3 - it began my love affair with night swimming, mix-your-own-six-packs, the rough ridge overlook on the blue ridge parkway, our daily bread, staying up obscenely late, and boone, north carolina.  what am i forgetting?).

i read ken's book and occasionally read his blog, and i'm telling you all this (get to the point already, claire!) because he's got a great trivia quiz that he sends out to your email account every tuesday if you subscribe on his blog (lefthand side, scroll down).  so: trivia lovers: subscribe!