it has been sads-ville in my world for the last week, which is partially the reason for the lack of posting.  a good friend's father had been fighting cancer for several years and died on saturday.  jim treated his son's friends like family, inviting us on family vacations and to their house for pumpkin carving around halloween and gingerbread house building contests around christmas.  he was warm and generous, a talented writer as he described his fight with cancer on his blog.  the world is worse off for his passing.

sometimes the world seems orderly - that hard work brings success in our endeavors, that the good people win, that every day the world becomes a better place.  other days the world seems chaotic and i search for meaning.  i've been thinking about this line recently, from "the second coming," by yeats: "turning and turning in the widening gyre / the falcon cannot hear the falconer."  i know i'm not alone in feeling like a little falcon, looking for meaning to my circles.

the not feeling alone part?  that's really important.  i've got the best friends and family ever.  how lucky i am to not feel alone in a world where a lot of people do.