magical deals

i get such a warm fuzzy feeling when i find something cute that is on sale.  (is that bad?  i guess i'm supposed to get a warm fuzzy feeling when i help others...which i do.  this is just a different kind of warm fuzzy.)  i am feeling especially proud of my trip to ann taylor loft today.  i bought a fuschia dress (i can't find it online to show you the link), regularly priced at $98, for $23.  and this dress, regularly priced at $128, for $29.  I AM AMAZING.  and there was vanity sizing.  really, it was the best shopping outing ever.

i'm going to a new years (or year's or years' - help!) party tonight and needed something cute to wear.  i will probably freeze to death.  but at least i'll look good doing it.

hope everyone has a happy and safe end to 2009!

mashup

this is a really cool mashup of some billboard hits this year, and i hope you enjoy it: Blame It on the Pop.  i have now watched it three times in a row.  i figured: good enough to repost.  i found it though a friend of Becky's blog that i read daily.  she entertains me.  you should read her blog, too.

mcgrady

after a really nice week at home, i'm back in atlanta, the land of wireless internet and central heating and yoga studios!  it was a great trip home, though, and so good to spend time with my family.  this is where i grew up and where my parents still live.  just keep zooming out until you find a town you've heard of.  i hope that happens before the towns on the map are charlotte and raleigh.

for those of you who haven't been there, mcgrady is a zero stop light town, a place where you drive ten miles to get "into town" to work or do whatever shopping you need to do.  when i was just learning to drive a stick shift (i was probably 20 years old), i was driving through "town" (north wilkesboro) and i stopped at a stop light.  i was in the left turn lane.  i was the first car.  the light turned green.  i stalled.  and restarted the car.  and stalled.  and restarted the car.  bottom line: i stalled all the way through the light.  the light was green for a while and then turned yellow and then red again and i was STILL SITTING THERE frantically trying to get the car to move.  this is indicative of my driving skills early on; i'm much better now thankyouverymuch.  here's the thing, though: not a single car honked at me while i stalled through that light.  and THAT, in a nutshell, tells you a lot about the place where i grew up.

i am an object at rest

i gave up on reading the oldest living confederate widow tells all because it was boring and it was slow.  i got through 250 pages before i just couldn't make myself pick up the book any more.  i hate abandoning books, but i really had to this time.  now i'm reading the story of edgar sawtelle and it's so hard to put DOWN.  victory.  and christmas time allows for a lot of book reading.  and a lot of tv and movie watching...i watched the two movies from netflix that i'd had at home since just after thanksgiving.  sheesh. 

oh, and eating.  christmas time allows for a lot of eating.  gingerbread cookies, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, sea salt caramels from trader joe's.  i don't even want to think about what i've been eating.  the gift certificate dad got me to my new yoga studio (!!) will be put to good use in january...

there is also a lot of dog petting required at our house.  even after floor time with dad, the dogs will come up to you when you're sitting on the couch and put their head next to you and just LOOK at you until you pet them.  it's impossible not to.  so cute.

19th place

i'm in a bowling league and we had our last night of bowling tonight.  our team, the pin-ups (we hope you're giggling about that team name right now), was in 19th place out of 20 teams.  hold your applause.  we were battling the 20th place team to try not to lose the league.  tonight we won 2 out of 3 games and total pins, and avoided last place (hooray).  my average is a 120, and this is so symbolic of our team: i bowled a 135, a 187, and a 93.  we are perhaps the least consistent team on the planet.  but oh how proud i am of my 187...

i'm traveling home to NC tomorrow where internet access is spotty, so posting may be sporadic...if i don't write again before friday, merry christmas to all!  i hope you spend the holidays curled up inside with good food, fun board games, and the people you love.  i plan to eat excessive amounts of calories, force my family to play fun games with me, and snuggle with our dogs.

love to you all!

i'm sad that i'm missing this...

omg.  this means ohmygod for the old(er) people reading this.  except the old(er) people i'm directly descended from aren't reading this because when i talked to them at 9pm there were 10 inches of snow on the ground in mcgrady, they don't have internet access at home, and they CLEARLY won't be getting into town any time soon.  10. inches. of. snow.  i made mom get out her tape measure and put on shoes and go out to measure how much was on the picnic table in the backyard and then tell me about it.  she acquiesced because she's a great mom.  the tape measure read 10 inches.  the dogs must be so confused.  abby the dog is only approximately 10 inches high.  i should have made mom measure her, too.

this is an amazing article for two reasons.  one: it says that 3-7 inches of accumulation were expected today (um, they got 10) and an additional 8-12 inches tonight.  yikes!  i can't wait to call tomorrow and find out what happened overnight.  two: the article is on the website of the biggest newspaper in wilkes county, and it is, uh, perhaps not the fanciest website.  this entertains me.

creepy picture guy

for my AP government final exam i gave my students the ability to earn 10 bonus points, 1 each for correctly identifying the following important people, places, and things of 2009.  i purposefully made some of them easy enough that everyone should get them (SHOULD), and some so hard that i didn't know if anyone would get them.  here's the list, for your enjoyment, along with the funniest answers i received.  (giggling over the silly things that students write is the best part about being a teacher.  i figured i should share.)  maximum number of correct answers by a student: 7.

1. bagram - [no funny answers - just lots of wrong answers.  two kids knew, though - i was so proud!]

2. fareed zakaria - president of iran AND president of afghanistan AND regular contributor to Newsweek (creepy picture guy??)

3. fort hood - shooting massacre!  [if you are a 17 year old girl, you like to put exclamation points at the end of sentences that, perhaps, don't need them.]

4. going rogue: an american life - [everyone knew this - hooray]

5. khalid shaikh mohammed - former Nobel Peace Prize winner OR winner of the mayoral race in atlanta

6. mary norwood - [you non-atlantans may not know who she is; she lost the atlanta mayoral race in a run-off, but would have been the first white mayor of atlanta in almost 40 years had she won.]

7. rahm emanuel - terrorist

8. tehran - [most kids knew this, too.]

9. timothy geithner - guy from project runway who always says "designers!" [said by a boy - i love it]

10. the west wing - [i got more answers related to the tv show of this name than the actual location, but i gave them credit]

tuesday, december 15

how to be happy, by miss claire:

step 1: after work, go check out the yoga studio on your way home that you've been meaning to try for a while.  have the best hour and a half of yoga of your life (not totally true...but the best in a really long time), even though the man next to you moans for most of the class.  afterwards, they serve you a little plate of fresh fruit.  who does this?  i will clearly be going back, both for the yoga and for the fruit.

step 2: for dinner, take Trader Joe's Biryani Rice, add a handful of cashews and half a can of chickpeas.  stir fry for 5 minutes.  YOU HAVE NEVER TASTED ANYTHING MORE DELICIOUS.  bonus: when you bring your leftovers to school for lunch it looks like you are an amazing chef when you have done little more than pour things in a skillet and stir.  (shout out to aunt monica for introducing this to me!!)

step 3: watch your blue devils score 113 points and jon scheyer play the game of his life.

step 4: read the story of edgar sawtelle until you fall asleep.

dear santa,

i would like the following things for christmas.  i know some of them won't really fit in your sleigh - i'm just dreaming...


for duke to beat carolina at home and in chapel hill.  and for duke to win the national championship, but i'll settle for just beating carolina twice.

this necklace from etsy

for madewell to start making their graphic t-shirts again.  best fitting shirt EVER.

this wallet, in color "mogano"

any of the following books: city of thieves, gentlemen and players, dreaming in hindi, her fearful symmetry, the hour i first believed

an extra hour every day in which to read these books

for al qaeda and the taliban and all the other bad guys in the world to put down their guns/bombs/other weapons

this ring from etsy (i have no idea what size ring i wear.  7 1/2?  8?)

a garlic press

itunes gift certificates, so i can continue to go crazy every once in a while

love,
claire

chelsea grill

i've found the perfect neighborhood bar, where the bartenders are fun and hilarious, the drinks are reasonably priced and plentiful, the menu includes three vegetarian meals and lots of waffle fries, and you never want to leave.  unfortunately, this bar is in new york city and i do not live in new york city.  CRAP.  this cannot be my neighborhood bar.  THE WORLD IS NOT FAIR.

fantastic dork-a-palooza

last night i went (with three friends) to see a taping of the NPR show "wait, wait...don't tell me" at the cobb energy center here in the lovely atlanta.  it was so fun to see what the panelists and karl casell and peter sagel looked like in real life.  the guest was rick sanchez from CNN, and he was a little lame.  if you had to get someone from CNN, why not anderson cooper??  or better yet, don't get someone from CNN.  give me someone cool.

two wonderfully dorky moments from last night:

in line at the bathroom before the show:
woman #1: quite a line!  we'll get to see if that theory plays out...that a whole bunch of stalls open at the same time, the line moves really fast, and then it stops and you stand and wait for a while.  fast, stop, fast, stop.  what's that theory called?  string theory?  chaos theory?
woman #2 [potentially woman #1's friend]: yeah, doesn't traffic work like that, too?
woman #1: yeah!
[four stalls open at once and the line moves quickly, proving woman #1's theory.]
woman #3 [who definitely did not know the other two] as she walked toward a stall: it's actually alfred p. lloyd's theory.*
woman #1: oh yeah!

*i actually can't remember what she called it, but it sounded something like this.  dad, i am hoping you know.


at the end of the show, they brought a woman from the audience - from the second balcony, where we were sitting! - up on stage to answer a question and win a prize for the audience.  and she won us something - hooray!  what was it, you ask?  well, we NPR fans/listeners each got an NPR tote bag so when we go to whole foods to pick up our free range chicken eggs and organic produce we don't have to use a big bad plastic bag that will hurt the environment and add to our liberal guilt.  oh, NPR, you know us so well.

go to hell, carolina

i paid off one of my two student loans!  i am amazing!  i am patting myself on the back right now.

and you know, even though i had/have two student loans from attending the lovely duke university, i don't care.  it was the best school ever and totally worth paying for some of it myself.  here is why.  a list.  (of course.)

1. i am still very close to rachel, jen, the other rugby girls, morgan, q, andy, mike, thomas, jenny, and veronica from duke.  oh, and the non-blog-reading-sister-of-mine.  that is a lot of people.  i have great friends from college.  i know i am so lucky.

2. duke basketball = the reason to live from november to march.  for those who don't know, i used to regularly forgo warmth and sleep to stand in line/tent for games.  and i miss that a lot now.  it was worth every minute.  i never felt more school spirit than when i was in cameron, sweating profusely, and losing my voice while cheering on the blue devils with 1,600 of my classmates.

3. indian food wednesdays.

4. duke is gorgeous.

5. duke informed me (nonverbally) that i was good at history and liked it.  and that i was bad at chemistry and hated it.  this turned out to be an excellent thing, as i now have an excellent life at an excellent job that i love.

6. veggie tacos and chips and queso at the dillo.

7. i learned how to play rugby, later became president of duwrfc, lived in the rugby house, learned rugby songs, and made some rockin' friends.

8. hearing the bells played from the chapel at 5pm every day.


fellow dukies, what am i missing?

written while watching "rudolph the red-nosed reindeer"

i have an obsession with christmas tv and movies.  i MUST watch the following programs in december:

1. a charlie brown christmas (you will not be surprised to know that i own it)
2. rudolph the red-nosed reindeer (the claymation one)
3. how the grinch stole christmas
4. it's a wonderful life
5. love, actually

optional, but highly suggested, watching:
1. mixed nuts
2. home alone (totally a christmas movie)
3. meet me in st. louis
4. elf

there is something about watching christmas tv programs, particularly, that takes me back to when i was little and believed in santa claus and sat in the living room of our house in mcgrady watching these shows.  if you lived in mcgrady in the 1980s your tv weatherman was neil macneil (real name), and on christmas eve he would pop onto tv every hour or so and show us where santa's sleigh was over a map of the united states.  typically, santa was over new england.  this would be the signal for moms throughout the region to tell their children that santa was getting closer and we needed to go to bed.  because neil macneil was a NEWS ANCHOR (sort of) and if he said santa was coming, SANTA WAS COMING.  i believed it 100%.  and that is what is awesome about being a kid.

lunch time

it was mexican food day in the cafeteria (best lunch day ever!) and in addition to black bean and cheese quesadillas or chicken fajitas (we all know which one i chose), they had real guacamole.  that had come from an avocado, not a bag.  IT WAS AMAZING.

oh, the little things in life...

country singers and creepy abraham lincoln

let me set the scene for you.  nashville, tennessee.  yesterday.  claire, erica, and i are full to the brim with delicious food and we have spent a lot of time reminiscing and giggling.  erica's on a high because alabama kicked florida's butt, i'm on a high because duke beat st. john's (though not as handily as i'd have liked), and claire's on a high because she went for a run.  claire's high is a result of doing good things for her body.  mine and erica's high is from sitting on our butts and eating spinach artichoke dip and occasionally clapping and cheering.

note: there are two claires.  i am one of those claires.  the other claire also works at my school, and sometimes we call her claire #1 because she was there first.  we also look kind of a lot alike.  it is weird.  and awesome.

back to the story.

so we're in nashville and we've put on our dancing shoes and gotten ourselves in a cab and we're headed out to listen to live music and go dancing.  nashville is the BEST PLACE EVER for live music - free, in every bar on the main (touristy) strip, and of really high quality.  mostly country music, but not always.  this was my third time in nashville and every time i've had SUCH a good time going out, mostly because i love live music.  hooray.

at about midnight, in a bar, claire and i saw cowboy troy and gretchen wilson and a man dressed up as abraham lincoln.  the man dressed up like abraham lincoln was creepy because he looked SO like abraham lincoln.  we ran away from him.  or, scurried away from him.  it is hard to run in a bar.  i did not know who cowboy troy was.  we passed by him in the bar at one point and i thought he was just a guy with bad facial hair.  twenty minutes later he was up on stage and the band was introducing him and he was singing/rapping songs.  really fun.  and then the band introduced gretchen wilson who i HAVE heard of.  i kept asking claire "is that really her?" but the moment she started singing her hit songs it was clear that it was.  she sang a couple of her songs with the band behind her - in what appeared to be a totally impromptu performance - and the first stanza of janis joplin's "oh lord won't you buy me a mercedes benz," which entertained me greatly - and then she and cowboy troy disappeared and all was normal again.

so fun.  and it felt so NASHVILLE.

now i am back in atlanta.  and i will take a nap.

typical

Transcription of a voicemail I received today:

"Ms. L [yes, adults who are at least 15 years older than me often call me by my teacher-name...I guess because their children do], this is so-and-so, blah's mom.  I just wanted to let you know that blah is going to be tested for ADHD this Friday and Monday and will miss school for it - we think she has it pretty bad.  If you could...[3 second pause]...oh my goodness, I'm driving and I thought they just tore down Rio Bravo on Roswell Road.  Maybe I have ADHD, too.  Anyway, if you could give me a call, my number is..."


The apple, friends, does not fall far from the tree...

Tweeter

I'm on a listserv for the AP (advanced placement) course I teach; people on the listserv can email the whole group.  I get about 10 emails a day from other teachers - sharing cool articles or websites or lesson plans...or wasting my time.  Here are some real life examples of how people like to waste my time.

If you are a good person and don't want to listen to me complain about people who are both annoying and bad at technology, stop reading.  This is your only warning.


Email #1:
I know the FRQ's [free response questions - there are four on the AP exam in May] are posted on the college board's website but does anyone have them in word format? I would like a copy if you do.

What I want to say to this person:
You copy and paste.  Seriously?  Are you too lazy to go to the website and find the document...is that what this is about?  So instead you send an email that goes into all our inboxes and we have to delete it?  In the amount of time it took you to write that email you could have gone to the website and copied and pasted and been done with it.  Control-C!  Control-V!


Email #2:
Ok, I admit it I am behind in these things and I don't have time nor the interest to be a slave to them. However, I find that there are some political ramifications to them. I need a quick and brief instruction guide to the use of these innovations on the internet and possible uses for me as an AP teacher. Any suggestions?  I have an account with both Facebook and Tweeter (internet)

What I want to say to this person:
There are a lot of things I want to say to this person.  I like lists.  I will start a list.
1. Correct me if I'm wrong, English teachers - Erica, I'm looking at you - but shouldn't this be "I don't have the time or the interest"?  OR "I have neither the time nor the interest"?  This is my first problem with this email.  Oh, this list is going to be a long one.
2. If you don't have the time "nor" the interest, WHY ARE YOU TRYING??  Just do what you've always done - it's probably okay, and it hasn't gotten you fired yet.
3. Is technology going to enslave you?  Because you insinuate that it is.  And buddy, you're not making any friends ON THE INTERNET LISTSERV YOU BELONG TO.
4. This listserv is for us to exchange ideas, not for me to teach you all about Facebook and "Tweeter," so no, you will not be getting a "quick and brief instruction guide" from me.  [Note: Thanksgiving IS the time for me to teach you all about Facebook and "Tweeter," as I did for my dad last week.  Dad: you get bonus points if you remember what "Tweeter" is really called - show this guy up!!]
5. "I have an account with both Facebook and Tweeter (internet)" is the best sentence I have ever read.  I am giggling so hard right now I have started laugh-crying.  In my office by myself.  If you are not giggling, you are not my target audience for this blog.


Rant over.

hotel cafe presents "winter songs"

so i land in atlanta at 9:30am on sunday (don't ask how early i had to wake up in ames, iowa to make this trip), take MARTA to my car, and drive home listening to the radio.  one of my pre-programmed radio stations has made its annual switch to christmas music and i was embarrassingly excited about this fact.  i may or may not have listened to that station all the way home.  christmas stuff in stores in october?  unacceptable!  christmas music on the radio after thanksgiving?  welcomed!  hooray.  i love this season.

upon arriving home i promptly spent a grillion dollars on itunes, purchasing, among other things, this CD.  it had been in my itunes "wish list" since approximately february, but as it contains christmas music i couldn't very well purchase it in february.  but now?  it's the end of the month and i have more money than usual in my bank account (mysteriously...though i'm not asking any questions)...and it is christmas music season!  so i treated myself.  and it is glorious.

what do i wake up to this morning?  a story on NPR about how people spend more money online than they intend to because it's so easy to make purchases.  um, that's me.  NPR, get out of my head.

and he's not even my favorite character

"i am brave.  roller coasters?  love 'em.  scary movies?  i've seen ghostbusters like seven times.  i regularly drive through neighborhoods that have only recently been gentrified.  so yeah - i'm pretty much not afraid of anything."
--phil, "modern family" (11/25)

if you are not watching this show, you need to pull yourself together and start watching.  it is laugh-out-loud funny, and i am not a laugh-out-loud kind of girl.

my first pie crust

"this pie tastes like diabetes."
--my sister

that pie was the sweetest thing EVER, but also extremely delicious...so if you have a sweet tooth, head on over to bakerella and make it.  this is also the first time i've ever made a pie crust from scratch and it turned out great!  so if nothing else: remember this pie crust.  i had a minor meltdown while baking the pie because it wasn't firming up at quite the rate that i felt it should have been...and it did NOT stay in pretty layers like the photo suggests that it will.  but never mind - it all turned out okay in the end.  the perfect end to thanksgiving dinner!

today: leftovers for lunch (aka best lunch of the year), some shopping, then #7 duke vs. #13 uconn!  a little nervous about our first game against a ranked opponent this year...but hopefully we will persevere.

happy day-after-thanksgiving, all!

warning: don't read this while eating

since i'm leaving this afternoon for a five day weekend in iowa, i couldn't bear to go out to grab lunch (i've got food here! why spend the money?) or run to the grocery store (whatever i buy will likely go bad while i'm gone), so today is eat-random-leftovers day.  i dislike this kind of day.  for lunch i had the following:

• four mini vegetable eggrolls that i found in the freezer.  there was once a packet of sauce that went with them.  it is now missing, and the duck sauce i had in the fridge expired in september and BOY DID IT LOOK LIKE IT EXPIRED IN SEPTEMBER.  eww.  okay then - four mini eggrolls with a random packet of soy sauce i found.  excellent.
• a cheese quesadilla, made with two different kinds of cheese - not because i am fancy, but because i only had small portions of each cheese.
• approximately 20 chickpeas, eaten from the can until i realized eating chickpeas by themselves isn't exactly delicious. 

things i threw away while looking for food to eat:
1. the aforementioned duck sauce.
2. fresh parsley that i never used because i forgot i bought it
3. old cheddar cheese
4. half an onion whose other half was used approximately two weeks ago
5. a half gallon of barely used milk that expired november 8th.  it was so gross i had been holding out on throwing it away because (a) i wanted to recycle the plastic container, so (b) i had to pour out the GROSS milk inside.  i hope you are appropriately disgusted.  i can start talking about my dog bite wound any time now if you'd rather hear about that...


i would rather have been eating Fiery Sweet Potatoes
and my grandma's green bean casserole
and my sister's mashed potatoes
and Chocolate Bread Pudding.

but i guess that's what thanksgiving is for, right?  HOORAY.

four dogs

mom: so we're taking carter [one of their dogs] to the vet's over thanksgiving break.

me: he needs a little extra care, huh?

mom: yeah.  but the other three dogs are staying here.  i'm paying daniel and alisa $1 each per day to feed them.

me: mcgrady, north carolina may be the only place in the world where you can get three dogs cared for over a five day weekend for $10 total.


yes, my parents have four dogs.  how many did they set out to get?  oh, that would be zero.  dogs are just DRAWN to my parents.  it is adorable.  they spend all day on the farm investigating good smells and lying in the sun.  (the dogs, not my parents.)  there is also a dog hierarchy; one dog has had two hip replacements, which required my dad to come home every day at lunch for months to care for him...he is also overweight and thus has to eat fresh vegetables that fill him up but don't have a lot of calories.  i think he also takes several medications, which is why he needs to be at the vet's over thanksgiving.  on the other end of the spectrum: one dog isn't allowed inside.

daniel and alisa are my parents' next door neighbors.  they are in 5th and 3rd grade.  they love my mom and like to come talk to her and borrow things from her - a shovel, for example, to build a fort.  in turn, my mom gives them random things that only she and they can appreciate.  on the phone today she told me that she found a deer skull with the antlers still attached, and she gave it to daniel and he was so excited.  my mom and daniel are some of the only people i know who would appreciate a deer skull.  they are made for each other.

i love my couch

it is rainy rainy rainy in atlanta today - and quite chilly (for us).  i dragged myself out of bed this morning to go the gym, and from there went to work at world peace for the afternoon.  it was crazy at world peace - people everywhere - and chris had me working the register.  i'm pretty new at the register, but not as new as i used to be.  i know this because when i first started working the register this was every interaction:

customer: hi!  i'd like a TMB with a side salad and a pot of tea - what kind do you like best?
me: okay, i'm a new at this, so bear with me! (where is the key for TMB? TMB, TMB, where is it??  panic!  oh, here we go. okay, now what is the code for a side salad.  let me check this sheet, side salad...okay, 180.)  i've got your TMB with a side salad - i'm sorry, can you repeat what else you wanted?

and it would continue from there.  italicized words are my inner monologue, obviously.  at this point i would be sweating profusely.  out of nervousness.

now i'm at the point where i can ring up orders quickly and even key in things like "no mayonnaise."  (hold your applause.)  even when we were mobbed today, i pretty much kept my cool.  except i keyed in debit cards as credit cards, so when we ran the report at the end of the shift the credit card report was tragically off...until i realized what i'd done.  and no permanent damage was done.  whew.  crisis averted.

i'm back home now, and this is the perfect weather for eating a big lunch (check) and wearing a fluffy flannel robe (check) and curling up on the couch (check) under a blanket (check) and watching copious amounts of tv (check).  oh, i'm so happy right now.

in honor of my afternoon spent watching my tivoed shows, i offer you this quote from the daily show with jon stewart which is too good not to share.  I LOVE THIS MAN.  he constantly makes my day.

"the special olympics is to winners what fox news is to experts; if you show up, you are one." -jon stewart, the daily show, 11/18/09.

be kind

"be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."
--plato

recently, this is my mantra.  i repeat it a lot.  another volunteer at world peace tonight who didn't really do much work, and spent the whole time talking to someone about how she's having trouble with her boyfriend...leaving me to do much of the work?  for her, this is a hard battle.  student who tells you they need a college recommendation letter soon, and you have to stop what you're doing to write it?  who knows what else is going on in her life.  hard battle.  person who cuts you in the security line at the airport, yet their ticket (which you can see) shows that their flight doesn't leave for several hours?  maybe they never fly - maybe they're anxious.  hard battle.  person who can't return your emails even though you know they can make time for it?  hard battle.  person who lets their dog bite you?  (i know - leave it alone, claire.)  who knows what else is going on in her life.  hard battle.

you don't have to believe another person's battle is hard.  to you, it might be easy.  to them, it might be the most difficult thing they've ever faced.  we all fight battles - daily ones, lifetime ones.  i can't judge yours, and in turn i hope you won't judge mine.  this is what i repeat to myself in those moments where i just want to say GROW UP or MOVE FASTER or DON'T PUT ME OUT JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER.  be kind.  everyone - everyone - is fighting a hard battle.

overheard

One of my teacher-friends just sent me this email:

Overheard in the hall from two senior girls regarding recent exams and past exams...

"Those Duke people make hard tests."

There are three of us "Duke people" who work in the history department at my school, and I love that we have this reputation. (Spoken like a true teacher or what?)

healing

oh elaine - i feel you.  except i didn't try to pet a dog.  i tried to stand still and not get bitten.  AND I FAILED.

Dog Bites Elaine

did you know that you can get tetanus from a dog bite?  neither did i, but apparently everyone else DID know this and recommended it.  i thought you could only get tetanus from stepping on a rusty nail, like i did when i was little.  i have this very vivid memory of being at the house when i was mini (3 or 4?) and mom telling me to put on shoes before we went back to work on the old house, this (imagine that) old house on our property in mcgrady.  i hated wearing shoes as a kid - i have no idea why - and wouldn't wear them unless absolutely necessary.  i would pick my way across gravel driveways and field of just-cut hay with prickly bits sticking everywhere, going 1 mile per hour, just so i wouldn't have to put on shoes.  on this particular occasion i won the fight with mom and got to walk around near the old house without shoes on.  and then i stepped on a rusty nail.  of course.  because moms are always right.  i remember being in the white truck and driving back to our house really fast so mom could take care of my wounded foot.  she says that i had already a tetanus shot, so they didn't take me to the doctor.  i am, obviously, a trooper.

here in 2009 i don't have a tetanus shot that's up to date (they expire after 10 years and my last one was in 1996), so i went to my doctor's to get that.  she looked at my wound and said to keep an eye on it, but that it wasn't too deep and wasn't infected (yet), so i should be okay.  woo hoo.  do you want to see this wound?  do you?  do you?  well, i don't want to freak out casual observers, so you'll have to click this link to my picasa page to see it.  if you're interested, that is.

Dogs Can Be Mean (click on the photos to make them larger, for full gross-out effect)

is this weird that i'm putting these photos online?  has this blog gone too far into my personal life?  apologies if it has...

and i promise to stop talking about this soon(-ish).

i want to live in a land called paradise

at my dorky history conference this weekend i went to a session (as i mentioned previously) about muslim perspectives in film.  the presenter started the session by introducing herself and then immediately playing this video:

Kareem Salama - A Land Called Paradise

(i really hope this link works.)

kareem salama is a egyptian-american country-western singer who is muslim.  I LOVE THIS SONG.  since i found the video online when i got home i have watched it approximately 10 times and i will be purchasing his album even though itunes does not appear to be carrying it.  do you like country music even a little bit?  why are you still reading - WATCH THIS VIDEO.  watch it again.  try not to sing along.  IT IS IMPOSSIBLE.

the text and video are also so powerful, and in just a couple minutes they help, i think, dispel a lot of stereotypes americans (including myself, for sure) have about muslims.  for that reason, i love this video even more.  i will be showing it in class.  i just need to figure out how to incorporate it into a lesson plan.  or not.  it pertains to current events, right?  i can totally just show this.


[dog bite update: i have consulted both the school nurse (who gave me big bandaids and told me to make sure my tetanus shot was up to date) and my teacher-friend who is also a doctor (watch for pus, lots of redness, and firmness of the wound - those are bad signs...and she told me to take the bandaid off for a bit every day to let it breathe.  this is my mom's answer to all wounds: don't cover them up all the time.  woah.  apparently this is sound medical advice.  good work, mom.).  i think i will live.  it doesn't hurt...it's just a bit tender and really gross...]

there i was, minding my own business...

you will never believe what happened to me today.  THE DOG WHO LIVES ACROSS THE HALL FROM US BIT ME.  and it broke the skin.  and i screamed.  this is a dog who always barks A LOT when his owner leaves the condo to take him for a walk, and it has always startled me - it is some severe barking - but i never imagined it was a BITING DOG.  i was walking up to my door to go inside after a walk and the woman and her dog came out of their door at the same time.  the dog barked a lot, ran up to me, jumped up on me, and bit me.  I HAD TRUSTED THIS DOG.  I HAD ASSUMED THIS DOG WAS ALL TALK.  THIS DOG IS NOT ALL TALK.  the woman who owns the dog apologized profusely and offered to pay for the pants the dog ripped, which i first said wasn't necessary and then said would be fine.  i then immediately called my mom and had her talk me down - do i have rabies? (no, all dogs have to get rabies shots...this would only be a concern if this was a wild dog.)  then i talked to my dad, the lawyer (sure, dogs are SUPPOSED to be vaccinated, but you need to get some documentation or a tag number from the owner to confirm that their dog has been vaccinated on schedule).  valid point.  the owners weren't home when i went across the hall to ask about the documentation, so i left a note, allowing me to avoid confrontation (my ultimate goal in life).  here's hoping they get back to me tonight.

the bite mark looks awesomely tragic.  mom says it will probably bruise and swell up.  i'm excited about how gross it will look.  as long as it comes with no additional side effects.  like rabies.


update: i talked to the owner and she showed me the documentation that the dog's rabies vaccinations are up to date.  whew.  new goal: no infection...

pseudonyms

my senior year in college i started looking for a job, and in the search process i would get discouraged occasionally, as all people looking for jobs do.  you spend all that time trying to make yourself seem fabulous and perfect for whatever job you're applying for, and it can get frustrating when no one wants to hire you (yet).  my roommate and i created an alter ego for myself: spare cogsdon.  spare cogsdon was unmarketable, not me.  it did wonders for me to be able to blame things on spare cogsdon.  there is probably some psychology term for what i was doing.  if you know what it is - and if it means i have some deep-seated emotional issues - please don't tell me.

you know my friend willis, of blog notoriety?  well, his name isn't ACTUALLY willis, of course...but when i tell potentially embarrassing stories about him, i've started referring to him by this name.  you will all be happy to know willis has embraced the pseudonym willis.  he initially was not amused by this pseudonym and wanted a cooler name, but i'd already chosen willis and there was no going back.  "the name willis is too black.  i don't want it."  "you lose.  it's going to stick.  so there."  and oh, has it stuck.

on thursday, friends, we reached a milestone: WILLIS REFERRED TO HIMSELF AS WILLIS OUT LOUD.  willis and i have decided that if (excuse me: WHEN) he does extremely flamboyant things, he can blame it on willis, much as i blamed my unmarketability on spare cogsdon.  an alter ego!  it's like he's a superhero.  SUPER WILLIS!

dork alert

dork alert.

jenny and i went to the national conference on the social studies today (and we get to go back tomorrow) and it was glorious.  i went to five sessions today: using technology to teach presidential elections, international humanitarian law and guantanamo bay, constitutional law and georgia cases, muslim perspectives in film, and deliberations on hate speech.  you should be jealous, because it was awesome.  jenny and i went to the conference two years ago when it was in san diego - much more exciting than downtown atlanta, but we're happy to go back again.  we spent all of lunch talking about the cool classes we'd been to and planning out which ones we'd go to in the afternoon and tomorrow.  we love history, and there were lots of us history sessions (for jenny) and government sessions (for me).

in one of the above mentioned classes we were given a bunch of words and asked to identify them.  while i didn't know a lot of the terms, i was one of the only people who could identify "bagram" - where it is, what it is, and how it related to the topic at hand.  bonus dork points to any blog reader who can do the same without looking it up.

gawking

scene: the school cafeteria.
time: lunch today.

i walk past a table of 11th grade girls on my way to the salad bar.  several of the girls are turned around and obviously gawking at the table of 11th grade boys behind them.

me, in a teasing voice: "are you girls looking at those boyyyyys?"

one girl, in an "i can't believe i have to explain this" voice: "no way, ms. L.  we're trying to see what kinds of ice cream are in the freezer case behind them."


i love 11th grade girls.

christmas in november

i am becoming that woman who starts shopping for christmas presents in july.  becoming - i haven't become her yet.  maybe there's time to save myself.  but this thursday, while sitting in a long and boring meeting, i bought my christmas cards online.  i'm embarrassed to admit this out loud.

i like sending handwritten cards through the real mail.  i like receiving them, so i assume others do, too, and there's something special about buying cards and writing a note and putting a stamp on it and putting it in the mail and knowing that soon someone will go to their mailbox and there!  mixed in with the bills!  it's a piece of mail they actually want to open!  i write my grandma norma cards every week or two because i know she's lonely and needs some cheering up.  but i write birthday cards and hello cards, too.  and a couple years ago i started writing christmas cards.  it makes me happy to connect with people once a year - let them know i'm thinking of them during that season where we are supposed to think a lot (and i do) about the people we love.  two years ago i bought whatever cards barnes and noble was selling that weren't totally cheesy.  last year i made my own cards.  this year i'm planning ahead like a freaky christmas lady and buying them online well in advance.  yesterday they arrived.  AND THEY ARE SO CUTE.  get ready, everyone.  if i don't have your address, send me an email.  because the christmas cards are adorable this year and i can't WAIT to send them.

where does one get fabulous christmas cards online that aren't totally cheesy?  www.etsy.com  (in a boring meeting?  spend some time on this website.  you'll be able to happily waste hours.  i've bought t-shirts, jewelry, wind chimes, stationery, a purse....  this time around i searched "christmas cards," and after sifting through many ugly or tragic ones, found some that i was really happy about.  everything on etsy is handmade and sold directly from the craftsperson.  etsy = awesome.)

TIPsgiving 2: return to the shire

it was a weekend of dorkiness. glorious, glorious dorkiness. the third annual TIPsgiving - a reunion of some of my favorite coworkers from when i worked for TIP, plus a thanksgiving pre-game (because a year with only one thanksgiving is a sad year indeed).

we ate - made-from-scratch guacamole, cheesy grits, sweet potatoes, apple pie and ginger ice cream, dim sum (not all at the same time)...

we reminisced -
"hey eric, why don't you put shadow's shock collar on your leg again?"
"shut up."

we played dorky board games, including settlers of catan, which is probably the dorkiest game i have ever played...but it is also certainly one of the most fun games i've ever played. i will be buying this game for someone (anyone) i know for christmas so i have an excuse to play myself.

and, most importantly, we had great conversations, from why the personality of lady bird (one of abby & aaron's chickens) to whether we should believe statisticians to the genius of dr. horrible's sing-along blog.

doesn't this sound like my idea of heaven? well friends, it is. it was my birthday on saturday, and when i talked to my mom she said, "what are you guys doing?" i replied, "eating lots of food and playing fun games." "your favorite things!" "i know! and they are THEIR favorite things, too!"

i've been hit by the november blahs recently, and thanksgiving break seems far, far away. this - seven friends, a box full of board games, a full refrigerator - was the perfect way to spend my birthday weekend.  and it was a much-needed break from the november blahs.

hello from 30,000 feet

did you know that delta has wireless internet on board their planes now?  they were offering a free trial today, so here i am, on the internet several miles above virginia.  what is this world coming to?  I LOVE THIS WORLD.

what is wrong with america, part 2

in class this morning:

student: "did you hear about the muslim guy who killed thirteen people yesterday on the military base?"

me: "i'm a little upset that the first adjective you used was 'muslim,' not 'doctor' or 'soldier.'  he is an american citizen who is an army doctor and his religion is islam.  but yes, i heard about it.  and i'm really sad and disturbed that it happened."  [oh, i am on my high horse.]


you'd never hear a christian or jew or nonbeliever in america who killed someone referred to as "that christian guy" unless he perpetrated the crime for religious reasons.  and there is no evidence this american soldier in texas did.  but apparently some media outlets (my student watched good morning america) are focusing in on his religion and putting that information side by side with the fact that the crime was committed, and if their viewers want to create causation there, the media isn't stopping them.  NPR?  not so much...a passing reference to the fact that he was muslim and a quick quote from his imam back in virginia WHERE HE WAS BORN BECAUSE HE IS AN AMERICAN.  i feel like i have to focus on that detail in class because my students will go off the deep end, and pretty soon they'll be talking in the halls about how this is an act of terrorism.  and i can't deal with that.

can't we be upset enough that a soldier is accused of killing other soldiers?  or is this not enough, media outlets?

rant over.  deep breath.  happier topics tomorrow.

what is wrong with america

thanks for the book suggestions, friends!  any others, send them my way...

on my list of "things i hate about america," which is not a very long list, mind you, is trashy tv masquerading as news.  we all know i like trashy tv, but when it is pretending to inform me about important things in the world around me, i draw the line.  example: i'm at the gym, walking on the treadmill, and "inside edition" is on the tv in front of me.  through pictures and closed captioning, i find out A NEWS STORY ON THIS PROGRAM is that michelle obama high fived a girl who nine days later went to the hospital with swine flu.  YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS UP.  i offer the following questions:
1. wouldn't it be helpful to your viewers to tell them (a) when a swine flu carrier is contagious and (b) if this girl even had swine flu nine days ago?  no?  okay, great - don't mention those details at all.
2. can one get swine flu via a high five?  INTERVIEW A DOCTOR.
3. does michelle obama have swine flu?  no?  didn't think so.  even if she does, IS THIS NEWS?

they replayed approximately five times the footage of michelle obama high fiving the swine flu victim-to-be.  then they interviewed swiney and her parents in the hospital.  i can only conclude that this family (a) knew this footage of the high five existed, and (b) wanted to use their sick daughter to get on tv.  THIS IS WHAT IS WRONG WITH AMERICA.

help needed

i'm searching for a good book to read next - any suggestions?

likes: something intellectually stimulating, but not hard to read or ponderous to get through.  fiction.  memoirs of people with interesting lives.  books about the south.

dislikes: most chick lit (i can't even believe i just used that term).

recent books read: the namesake (by lahiri), the help (stockett), the brief wondrous life of oscar wao (diaz), little bee (cleave).

hydrangeas

my new desktop background:

i've posted briefly about my love for smashing magazine's free desktop backgrounds - 50 per month! - but wanted to give a link so you can check it out yourself.  search "smashing magazine" and the current month to see the new ones...i looked through the november 2009 ones this morning and didn't love any of them - so i went back a year and this one is from november 2008.  here's the link if you want to see what's available: http://www.smashingmagazine.com/2008/10/31/desktop-wallpaper-calendar-november-2008/  you can get them with a calendar or without...i like them without, since i don't imagine i'd use the calendar very much.

and many thanks to willis for telling me about them in the first place!

chickens and red feather boas

okay, so you saw the velociraptor on saturday.  but now you need to see a couple of chickens:

my costume = $1 pair of yellow socks + $5 pair of yellow tights + $5 pair of white shorts + shirt i already owned + $4 native american headdress that i cut in half an stapled to my shirt to use as wings + $3 beak.  glorious.

i am standing her with my fellow chicken, played by willis.  willis, who used a red feather boa to accentuate his chicken costume and then walked in a parade in front of approximately 500 students, parents, and faculty members.  i jumped up and down in excitement when i first saw willis in his costume.  i also stopped counting the number of times during the parade that people looked at us, opened their eyes REALLY WIDE, pointed, laughed, and then took a picture.  direct quote from willis: "i didn't think my costume looked gay at the time.  today i saw the pictures and realized i was mistaken."  yes, willis, yes you were.

the best part about working with one of your best friends: wearing homemade complimentary costumes to work on halloween.  so. much. fun.

halloween parade

our school has a really cool tradition; on the friday closest to halloween, the seniors and the kindergartners are allowed to dress up in costume, and then they walk together in a parade around the traffic circle at the front of the school.  all the parents of both the 12th graders and the kinders come and line the parade route, along with the majority of the students and teachers in the rest of the school.  one reason i love it is that the seniors do such a great job of picking fun, kid-like costumes.  typically, a 12th grader might pick a revealing or somehow inappropriate costume (sexy cat, for example, sold at every target and wal-mart in america.  tragedy.), but our kids are ALWAYS appropriate.  my favorite costumes this year from seniors were 5 girls who dressed like crayons (homemade costumes by one girl's mom), four boys who went as mighty ducks (the hockey team), and kids who went as the characters from the movie "toy story."  adorable.

we got a faculty group together this year to be old macdonald and his farm animals.  i was a chicken.  it was awesome.

while we were waiting in line, kinders paired with seniors, to begin the parade, i had this conversation with a kinder:

me: "are you an alligator?"  [i peak inside his felt mouth to find a very eager face with the remnants of a bloody nose.]

him: "no!  i'm a velociraptor!"

me: "oh, obviously!"

him: "i like velociraptors because they are the fastest, scariest, and coolest dinosaurs."

me: "do you know what i am?"

him: "a turkey!"

me: "close enough - a chicken.  can we pretend like the velociraptor is eating the chicken and someone can take a picture?"

him: "um, no - they didn't live during the same time period!" [said in a voice that implied that this was OBVIOUS...why do i have to explain this to you?]

me: "well maybe there were chicken-like animals back then.  can we do it anyway?"

and this was the result.

i almost stole him and took him and his homemade costume home with me.

happy halloween, everyone!

47

"i got a 47 on my precal quiz."

it was ANDREW O'NEILL who said this!  andrew o'neill, referenced in a previous post, who tutors china in math!  i overheard him say this in the hall and my heart SANK.  what would this do to his confidence!  this is his one shining subject!

andrew's friend: "i'm sorry andrew!"

andrew: "it was out of 44."

andrew's friend: "what?"

andrew: "i got a 47 out of 44."


of course.

this is my october

announcement, announcement: i took some pretty pictures.

i went hiking this weekend with some friends and had a GREAT time...we left saying "why don't we do this more often?"  we hiked a 4 mile loop at sweetwater creek park in west georgia - about half an hour from my house.  so easy to get to, and with the leaves changing colors and a crispness (but not coldness) in the air, it was perfect.  and gorgeous!  i heart fall!

if you squint, you can see that the leaves are changing.  for anyone who lives in the mountains or new england, this isn't anything special, but in georgia this is as fall-like as it gets.  so we are proud of it.

as we left, a little sweaty from the hike, it was drive-with-your-window-down perfection.  today, of course, it rained and was disgusting, but (victory!) our school didn't flood.  i'll take it, though - sunshine on a weekend day, rain on a weekday.  i can handle that.

(first person to correctly identify the song that the title of this post is taken from wins a big high five from me!)

5 podcasts you should be subscribing to

perhaps the correct grammar is "5 podcasts to which you should be subscribing," but either way...

I LOVE PODCASTS and listen to them when (a) i'm getting ready in the morning, (b) i'm driving, and (c) i'm working out.  i have to be careful, though - sometimes i'm working out and a real tear-jerker of a story comes on; walking + crying is a bad combination.

1. this american life - "each week we pick a theme and bring you a variety of [usually true] stories on that theme" - anything from the current health care debate to christmas stories to a theme like "music lessons" or "how to rest in peace."  david sedaris and dan savage and sarah vowell are occasional contributors, and obviously they are awesome and reason enough to subscribe.

2. wait, wait...don't tell me - "NPR's weekly news quiz" - but a HUMOROUS news quiz, so don't be nervous.  always includes an interview with someone famous...ashley judd, chris paul, paula deen, barack obama (before he was president obama), neko case, occasionally people you've never heard of.

3. the moth - "true stories told live without notes" - this is where a person could start crying - or just as easily could laugh out loud on the treadmill and embarrass herself to the same magnitude.  amazing stuff.

4. NPR's story of the day - the editors' pick, updated daily, with the best story that was on the air that day.  kelly - if you can't handle the fundraising drive (who can??) on NPR right now, this is what you should download!  the last three stories of the day were about navajo reservations, the health care debate, and brain injuries caused by football.  lots of variety!

5. indiefeed: indie pop music - when i was in europe this summer i listened to hours of this on trains while i played zuma and people-watched.  (i'm a multitasker.)  they update this podcast daily with just one song by an artist you've probably never heard of, but it's a great way to find out about new bands.  do you like the indigo girls, brandi carlile, the weepies, and/or the mountain goats?  you'll like this podcast.  don't know if you like these bands?  get this podcast.


things you should know about podcasts: you find them on itunes (search the podcast title and click through the search results under "podcasts"), they are freeeeeeeeeee, and they will automatically download to your itunes and update themselves whenever a new episode is available.

other podcast listeners out there: any podcasts that you like that i haven't mentioned?

ppd-ed

a 5 year old: "the phillies are in the world series because they won the NLCS.  i love the phillies.  go phillies!  my favorite player is howard."

me: "oh, i like him, too.  he hits the ball really hard."

the 5 year old: "no he doesn't.  he hits home runs."

me: "oh, okay."

the 5 year old's dad: "there might be a game on tonight in the ALCS - they didn't play last night because there was a rain delay."

the 5 year old: "no, dad, it was ppd-ed."

the dad: "ppd-ed?  postponed?  oh, you're right, but that's the same thing as a rain delay."


the 5 year old had read "ppd" somewhere and knew this was the reason the game wasn't being played.  IS THIS NOT THE CUTEST THING YOU HAVE EVER HEARD?  because the games are on after he goes to bed, his parents tape them and when he gets up in the morning he goes downstairs and watches them before his parents get up.  additionally, the 5 year old is better than me at basketball, knows how to add ["what's 8 + 4?" "okay, you put the 8 in your mind [points to head] and then you put 4 on your fingers.  9, 10, 11, 12.  it's 12!"], and when faced with dozens of designs to carve on his pumpkin, chose barack obama ["why did you choose obama?" "because.  i like him."].  he also sang the continents song for me and can ride a bike without training wheels.  i love this kid.

14 cents

okay, let me put this out on the table: i don't understand health insurance.  i have it, i'm happy to have it, it pays for things, i don't ask any questions.  but i DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.  for example - and let me preface these examples by saying that these are prescriptions that i had filled for minor things and my doctor gave me a "clean bill of health" (her words) at my yearly physical this week (hooray!) and all is well.  even my iron level was normal - a 13.5 - normal is between 11 and 17 (according to the nurse).  because i'm a vegetarian i always worry that i'm not getting enough iron, but apparently i am.  whoo hoo!  i am amazing!

back to my example.  this is a prescription i had filled a couple months ago:

um, how glad am i that i have insurance?  some questions, though: (a) how is it possible that 30 pills cost $438.28 - and i know many prescriptions cost more than this, and (b) what the hell do people without insurance DO?  i understand that some of the cost of prescriptions comes because a great deal of time and energy goes into creating different drugs, and companies need to be compensated for that.  but seriously.  whoa.

yesterday i got this prescription filled:

why thank you, insurance.  i'm glad you picked up that 14 cents.  seriously - if it's going to pay that little, why does it pay anything at all?  i may have laughed out loud in the pharmacy.

i don't understandddddd...

"did you fire me?"

time: thursday at 4:30pm.  location: the faculty workroom.

me: "what are you still doing here so late?"

coworker: "china [her daughter] gets tutored by andrew o'neill after school."

[note: andrew o'neill is the kind of kid where you have to say his full name.  he's not andrew.  he's andrew o'neill.  he also is the most socially awkward kid EVER.  not even socially awkward - socially uninterested.]

me: "how cool!  is andrew o'neill good at math?"

coworker: "andrew is so good at math.  i pay him minimum wage - $7.50 an hour - for an hour every day after school, and i give him a $5 bonus if china gets an A on a quiz and a $10 bonus if she gets an A on a test.  tutors are so expensive in this city, so this is the only way i can afford to get her some extra help.  i decided to ask him to help tutor china after i found him last year walking through the halls mumbling to himself, 'i can't believe i have a 101 average in algebra II.'"

[note: i am not surprised to learn that andrew o'neill was walking the halls mumbling to himself.  or that he had a 101 average in algebra II.]

me: "does andrew like tutoring?"

coworker: "he likes the money! you should have seen his face when i gave him the $10 bonus when china made an A on her last test."

me: "i bet that's really good for him - to have to explain the concepts to someone else and help them understand it."

coworker: "the librarians tell me that he drills her with problems for the whole hour - he takes it so seriously.  'you have to practice more of these if you want to do well on the next test.'"

me: [laughing]

coworker: "oh, and you'll get a kick out of this story - i gave china two days off from tutoring during homecoming week and she was supposed to tell andrew, but she didn't.  on the second day andrew walked right into a meeting i was having without knocking and said 'i haven't seen india for a couple days - did you fire me?'  i couldn't even bear to tell him that he got her name wrong after nine straight weeks of working together ever day - i just reassured him that he wasn't fired."


this, THIS, is why i love teaching.  you take a socially awkward kid who is good at math and you put him in a new situation and he steps up to the plate and out of his comfort zone.  i just want to give him a high five.  but acknowledging that i know all of this would probably be crossing some sort of unacceptable invisible line.  so i am just going to smile to myself every time i see him from now on.

fall fundraising campaign

my public radio station (wabe) is in the middle of its fall fundraising campaign.  this annoys me greatly - give me my news!  don't convince me to donate!  i promise to donate - just give me my news!  okay, but the please-give-us-money spiels do work - the first time i donated to npr was three years ago, when one of the donate-to-us spiels was from a reporter who was reporting from iraq and said that donations go to buy him bullet proof vests to wear so he can be safe while reporting the war back to us the united states.  YOU CAN'T NOT DONATE WHEN THIS IS HOW THEY ARE TRYING TO CONVINCE YOU.

i can't remember how they convinced me last year - it probably got wrapped up in my end-of-year donations to duke and ncssm or was part of the warm feeling i get from christmas.

this morning i'm listening to my news as i drive to work, and they move into the donate-to-us spiel and i change the channel, but all of my other preprogrammed channels were either in commercial or talk radio.  a nice reminder that THIS IS WHY I DON'T LISTEN TO THEM IN THE MORNING.  so i go back to npr and resign myself to listening to the fundraising portion of the program.  but wait!  that's my friend ira glass of this american life who is trying to convince me to donate now!  he entertains me, so i will listen to him.  he tells me the following fact: 9 out of 10 public radio listeners don't donate.  argh!  okay, i can't let that be me this year - i need to remember to give, as i have for the past two years.  he then cuts to this tape where he calls an independent bookstore in chicago and asks for 10 books, but only wants to pay for 1 (to prove the point that there are few things in life where only 9 out of 10 people pay, but everyone reaps the benefits).  this interview amuses me, and i continue listening.  ira glass then says something like, "and you!  you who are listening!  you are listening to the fundraising portion of the program!  you are a diehard public radio listener if that is the case!  how have you not donated yet?" (i was extremely embarrassed to admit that i fall into this group, but the evidence was overwhelming.)  then my friendly wabe announcer comes on and says if they raise $2,600 in the next half an hour, an anonymous donor would match it.

okay, enough is enough.  as soon as i got to work, i donated.  of course.  you are so convincing, npr!

set your tivo

do you know about inspector lewis?  okay, until july i didn't either.  when i was in oxford this summer my british friends got in a tizzy because lewis (that's what hip kids call it - drop the "inspector") was filming on campus, IN one of the colleges at oxford where we worked.  i got hourly updates from sally about which actors she'd seen and how close she'd come to talking to them and, in essence, how excited she was.  i had never heard of this show before and people were AGAST at this.  so when i got home from england and was missing pretty pretty oxford i rented the first series (they don't call it a "season" because they are funny and british) and it is SO GOOD.  of course.  the premise: this other inspector (morse) who had a long running show died.  the guy playing morse died in real life, so they had to end the show, and lewis was morse's sidekick.  he gets promoted to inspector (i guess) and now has his own show.  lewis is your average joe and he doesn't really fit in in intellectual oxford, but his new sidekick, hathaway, is both attractive AND smart.  in every episode there is a murder, and there are always little puzzles with literary or historic allusions that only hathaway can get and are necessary to solving the crime.  it's different from american tv shows in that each episode is a full 90 minutes long, and it is funny and has lots of beautiful shots of oxford and it entertains me.  AND NOW THEY ARE SHOWING SEASON (oops, SERIES) TWO ON PBS.  set your tivo, friends.  it's called "masterpiece mystery," it airs on sunday nights, and you get to hear alan cumming announce each week's episode...and that should be enough to convince you to watch.

end of rant.

with apologies to stephen sondheim

oh, if you'd been at our school's talent show (STUDENT talent show, that is) last thursday - the wondrous things you could have seen.  most importantly, the faculty number - a modification of two west side story songs.  lyrics modified by me and whitney:

Dylan & Jocks:
When you're a Jock
You're a Jock all the way
From your first big home run
To your Homecoming day.

When you're a Jock
If the spit hits the fan,
You got teammates around,
You're a family man!

Katie & Nerds:
When you're a Nerd
You're a Nerd all the way
From your first spelling test
To your SAT day.

When you're a Nerd
If the spit hits the fan,
Your lab partner's around,
You're a family man!

All:
You're never alone,
You're never disconnected!
You're home with your own:
When company's expected,
You're well protected!

Then you are set
With a capital J (N),
Which you'll never forget
Till they cart you away (to the power of ten).
When you're a Jock (Nerd)
You stay a Jock (Nerd) !

(imagine actual choreography, thanks to our drama teacher, and the choral director playing piano behind us.  imagine stunned faces in the audience and a pretty large pause before the applause began.)

Forrest:
Baker Field,
You lovely grassland . . .
Land of Friday night victories.
Always the muscles growing,
Always the whistles blowing . . .

Staples:
Baker Field . . .
You ugly grassland . . .
Land of athletic diseases.
Always the stench blowing,
Always the athlete’s foot growing
And the sweat flowing
And the coaches screaming…
And the bacteria teaming…
I like the building of Groesbeck.
To your friends you can take that back!

All:
But we’re all a part of H-h I
Okay by me at H-h I!
Ev’rything fun at H-h I!
We love to be at H-h I!

Dylan:
I like the roadtrips to games!

Wendy:
But you know that it always rains!

Forrest:
Hundreds of fans in bright fashion!

me:
Too bad your grades are all crashin’!

ALL
Higby the Bear at H-h I,
Mohawks in our hair at H-h I,
Plaid everywhere at H-h I,
Short skirts if you dare at H-h I!

Forrest:
I look so cool in my mouthguard!

Allyson:
Don’t you think you’re trying too hard?

Dylan:
We get to swim in a big pool!

Jenny:
Speedos make you look like big fools.

ALL
New kids come to H-h I,
Many hellos at H-h I;
Everyone knows that at H-h I
Everyone’s welcome at H-h I!

Forrest:
Under Armor makes me look hot!

Wendy:
Honey, Chace Crawford you are NOT!

Dylan:
All of the ladies love us!

Katie & nerd girls:
All of the ladies but us!

ALL
But we’re all a part of H-h I
Okay by me at H-h I!
Ev’rything fun at H-h I!
We love to be at H-h I!

Forrest:
Wesleyan thinks they are so cool!

Staples:
Wesleyan is just a bunch of fools!

Dylan:
Everyone there will give big cheer!

Katie:
Everyone there wants to go here!

All:
Go Bears!

(this second song was pretty hard to sing on beat - or, YELL on beat, since our singing skills are minimal.  the first time we practiced with the piano, the choral director stopped half way through and said to one of us, "how about you just speak your lines instead of trying to sing them?"  i don't think i've ever laughed harder than i did at that moment.  half an hour later, minutes before the performance, we went to the choral director with second thoughts and said, "i think we might only be worse with the piano in the second song."  he very cooly replied, "you need me on the second song."  and boy was he right - through some magical tempo changes, we were synced up with the piano throughout.  and he could drown out some of the more tragic moments.  was this night embarrassing?  YES.  but was it a lot of fun?  YES - i honestly haven't laughed that hard in a long time.  and we're teachers - we embarrass ourselves daily.  that night was really nothing different...)

mustache man

today i went to the decatur beer festival with jenny and wendy.  there were some good beers and some bad beers, great live music, fun people-watching, and a glorious 15 minute break in the starbucks down the street to warm up because it is FALL in decatur and we are SOUTHERN WEENIES who couldn't stop talking about how cold it was. i also couldn't stop talking about how much i love this guy:

he's the logo for this year's festival and he makes me SO HAPPY.  so happy, in fact, that i had to buy a t-shirt with him on it.  i would like to meet the person who designed this logo - i love his mustache and his hat and the fact that he is guzzling beer.  if i was asked to illustrate the word "guzzle" in the dictionary, i would put forth this logo.  or maybe it would better illustrate "swilling"?  either way, he makes me happy.

as a 26 year old, i probably still couldn't get a perfect score on the PSAT

fact: i have 54 free response questions and 54 two page essays to grade.

how is it possible that i sat in the same room for 4 hours proctoring the extended time PSAT and didn't grade a single paper?  what did i DO?

oh yeah.  i'm an amazing procrastinator.  well, i did reply to a lot (read: 43) of work-related emails that i needed to respond to.  but i also entertained myself with:
1. smashing magazine's free desktop wallpapers (50 to choose from each month!  got myself a fancy new one from their october update).
2. dooce.com, confessions of a young married couple, www.mattlogelin.com, texts from last night, cake wrecks, and this fish needs a bicycle.  in other words, my daily dosage of blogs.  (are you wasting time in this way?  you should be.)
3. last week's newsweek (if you haven't read the article that henry kissinger wrote about the conflict in afghanistan, you NEED to)
4. netflix got the movie i shipped back.  have they shipped a new one out yet?  no?  what about now?  no? now?

and then, magically, it was noon!  the kids got to go home early and it was time to go out to lunch with my work friends; for those of you who are teachers, you know how much of a luxury going out to lunch is.  we went to la fonda for their salsa (2nd best in atlanta, i think - taqueria del sol would be my favorite) and their adult beverages.  others are enamored of their paella, but i love the veggie burrito - roasted squash, onions, broccoli, and zucchini with fresh tomatoes, lettuce, and cheese and the best creamy ranch/tomato-y sauce.  YUM.

hoping you all have equally effective ways of procrastinating!  now i actually have to do my work...

next steps

my boss: "what is your dream job?"
me: "i'm kind of in my dream job right now.  i can't imagine not teaching, but i also love being in the leadership position of being a dean."
my boss: "okay.  but in twenty years do you want to be finding out which junior parks in spot 112?"
me: "woah.  point taken.  and [laughing] 112 is actually a senior parking spot."

i spent an hour in my boss's office talking about whether i should go to graduate school (yes), when (next year would be good), what degree i should work toward (i think we decided a master's in education, though nonprofit leadership and an MBA were also thrown out there.  not by me.), and whether i want to take a couple courses a semester on top of teaching or take a year off from teaching (i think the former, but am open to either idea).  i needed a little mentoring and he was in a mentoring mood, so it worked out perfectly.  his second question (above) was such a good question - it cuts to the heart of the matter - do i want to be doing all the little things i have to do right now as dean for the rest of my career?  my initial reaction was "i love being a dean and i want to do this forever."  he made me realize that no, i don't.  it's perfect for right now but i will be ready for something different at another point in my career.  "you're a big picture person," he said to me.  i'm taking it as quite the compliment.

adding cheese always helps

cauliflower is GROSS.  unless you put parmesan cheese on it.  and then it is delicious.

(don't tell anyone: i may be a vegetarian, but i don't like all vegetables.  my top five least favorite vegetables are squash, green peppers, cucumbers, celery, and radishes.  this was not a difficult list to come up with.  a couple years ago this list would have been even longer, but i have found that if you put cheese on some vegetables, it makes them infinitely better.  even delicious.  this is one example of that.  see also: eggplant.)

one thing you will learn about me, internet, is that i really like to cook.  i guess it stems from a love of eating, but i also really like the act of preparing food.  i find it relaxing - put on a tivo-ed episode of "jeopardy!" in the background, and then chop and measure and combine and stir and make dishes dirty and then make them clean again.  usually, the more complicated the recipe the better.  well, complicated isn't the right word.  INVOLVED.  the more involved the recipe, the better.

my old roommate's mom made this recipe once when i went over to their house for dinner, and she emailed it to me later so i could make it myself.  it is from cooking light's "holiday cookbook," and i love it.  here's what you do:

1. preheat oven to 450 degrees.
2. cut up a head of cauliflower into bite sized pieces.  put in a 13x9 inch pan and toss with one glug (i am channeling jamie oliver right now) of olive oil.  put in the oven for 20 minutes, checking every 5-8 minutes to toss the cauliflower around.
3. add 2 cloves of chopped garlic.  bake for 5 more minutes.  (things i have learned about garlic: it burns easily.  burned garlic = gross.  5 minutes really is enough.)  the recipe wants you to add parsley, thyme, and tarragon here, too.  i do not have these herbs.  so i do not add them.  it is still delicious.
4. take out of the oven.  while still hot, sprinkle with 1/4 cup of parmesan cheese and a couple squirts of lemon juice from one of those real lemon bottles (i clearly don't have the energy to make fresh lemon juice.  once i only had real lime.  it was equally delicious) and salt and pepper.  toss.  eat.  be happy.

this is a magical recipe because it really isn't that much parmesan cheese, but it makes the cauliflower so much better.  and roasting the cauliflower in the oven makes them kind of crunchy.  and that makes me happy.

all alike endear'd

i have tivo, so normally i zoom through commercials, but this one caught my eye and i stopped and watched it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uBsV8wAEhw

i was sure that the text had to be a famous poem, but i'd never heard it before...a google search led me to:

http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/20157

the audio in the commercial is believed to be an actual recording (on a wax cylinder) of walt whitman reading the poem in the late 1880s.  SO COOL.  best commercial i've seen in a long time - nice work, levi's! - gorgeous footage, it is patriotic without being saccharine-sweet, and it makes me so happy when commercials use poetry instead of some cheesy tag line.  i know they're trying to sell jeans, but they've created a piece of art in the process.  it's worth a watch!  i got equally giddy during an earlier season of "heroes" when they used the yeats poem "the second coming."  perhaps i'm not the typical television viewer, but i appreciate it when television producers realize that their viewers can handle something deep.

levi's is also using this poem in another ad:

http://www.americanpoems.com/poets/waltwhitman/13290

the ad is here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HG8tqEUTlvs&feature=related

donate your dime

at the whole foods i go to in atlanta you get 10 cents back on your purchase for each reusable bag you bring - a nice perk, though it obviously isn't going to make or break the bank.  when i went to whole foods yesterday for yogurt and eggs and fresh ricotta (yum), the woman at the register asked me if i wanted to donate my dime to help farmers in georgia whose crops were hurt by the recent flooding.  of course!  what a kind idea.  (and it was a free dime anyway...)

so that's my public service announcement for today: go to whole foods!

fourth grade

on friday i visited the fourth grade at the school where my sister teaches in harlem.  i was only there for two hours, but i offer the following analysis:

1. in fourth grade there are a LOT of rules.  you have to sit and be VERY quiet.  i didn't even think they were being loud, but all of a sudden a teacher would say "boys and girls, i hear noise!" and everyone would become super silent.  this would not be possible in high school.

you also have to walk down the hall in two lines, boys in one and girls in the other, standing next to each other and in reverse height order.  ms. L says "walk to the exit sign and stop," and silently they do it.  then ms. L says "continue to the double doors and stop."  after probably eight "walk and stop"s, we arrived at the computer lab.  whew.  it kind of stressed me out.

2. it was friday, so it was time to award the star student of the week!  this week is was frank who won.  everyone crowded around and ms. L announced that frank was the student of the week, and it is only the third week of school, so this is a BIG DEAL.  ms. L said, "frank always does his homework, is kind to his classmates, and is excited about school," and the look on frank's face was like he had won the lottery.  pure joy.  all the other kids crowded around to look at the certificate, and frank was beaming.  i can just imagine him running up to his mom and showing her, and then the certificate going on the refrigerator.  things are so much less complicated in fourth grade.  this made frank's week.  for how many people does something that small bring so much joy?

3. becky team teaches this class with another teacher named linda.  every week linda and becky write a report for each student about their behavior, homework, and they are doing academically, and the kids take it home to show their parents.  linda speaks fluent spanish, so she writes the reports in spanish for the families whose parents don't speak english (maybe five out of the twenty kids in the class).  i was struck, when i noticed this, about how much of a difference that must make for those parents - to have someone whom they can communicate with at their child's school.  for people who say that everyone should have to learn english if they want to immigrate to the us, i say: ideally, sure.  but for those who haven't yet - for those who have other things that have taken priority - i'm happy that there are lindas in the world to make one aspect of their lives easier.

4. best quotes from the kids:
"she's pretty."  (she would be ME.  woo hoo!)
from one kid to another, about me and becky, "they have the same nose and hair."  um, sort of.
one kid to my sister: "is her last name L_______, too?" "yes." "whoa - two ms. L_________s!!!!"

5. after school gets out, the teacher walks all the kids to the exit and watches them all find their parents, because yes - in some places in america the moms and little siblings show up outside the school to walk their kids home.  SO CUTE.  street vendors know that this is happening, so outside the school doors, amongst the moms and kids, there are men selling grilled corn on the cob with parmesan cheese, sno cones, and cotton candy.  it just felt like such an important thing, this school - such an important part of the neighborhood.  this was the place to BE at 2:58pm on a friday.  becky informed me that some kids have permission from their parents to walk home instead of waiting for a parent to pick them up - can you imagine that?  a nine year old walking home alone through the streets of new york?  new yorkers are TOUGH.  even mini new yorkers.

90.

this is my grandma norma.

she is my dad's mom, born in minnesota in 1919.  she wanted to be a singer on broadway, but her mother wouldn't let her.  so she married my grandpa and became an english teacher.  she has four kids and nine grandchildren and she turned 90 this week.  except she has always counted her age differently than you are "supposed to," and so if you ask her she will say that she is 91 because she has entered her 91st year of life.  she loves birds and flowers and scrabble and she gets the new york times on sundays and it lasts her throughout the rest of the week.  she taught me things like how to file your nails and how to spell stationery (stationery, with an "e," is the paper you write letters on, while stationary, with an "a," is standing still.  she told me that you can remember this because letter and stationery both have "e"s in them.  and i still think of that every time i write the word).  her favorite story of me, which she tells me multiple times whenever i visit (or call) is from when i was little and she was living with us.  apparently i came into the kitchen where she was washing dishes and said "grandma, grandma, come quick!"  i took her out onto the porch and pointed to the moon and said "grandma, the moon is broken!"  when she tells this story she laughs and tells me how cute i was.

this weekend 15 of her family members sat around the dinner table with her to celebrate her birthday, coming from georgia, north carolina, new york, michigan, iowa, and california to connecticut to be with her (and with each other - boy do we like each other).  happy birthday, gram.  you've never used a computer and have no idea what a blog is.  so i won't try to explain it to you.  but happy birthday nonetheless.

lunchroom etiquette

lunchroom etiquette, as mutually agreed upon by me and my teacher-friends:

rule #1: once you put your plate down at a table, you must eat your lunch at that table, even if it becomes populated by people you dislike or have nothing to talk to.  if you put your cup and/or keys down at a table, you are also committed to that spot, even if you return to find a table full of people you don't want to sit with.
exception to rule #1: if you make a public announcement to the table that you are leaving and give a truthful reason, you may leave.  acceptable reasons: too much sports talk, too much fantasy sports talk, too much girl talk (if you are a boy), you aren't interested in talking politics.

rule #2: once you have finished your plate, you may get up and leave the table.  if you then get dessert or another drink, you may sit down at a different table to consume this.  forrest has also patented the "soup/appetizer move," wherein one gets soup, eats it at a table, and then moves tables when one gets up to get one's main course.

rule #3: if someone joins your table mid-meal and everyone else finishes eating, after apologizing all people may depart, leaving the one person on their own.  this one person may then get up from this table and join another table.


while these rules may seem excessive, we find them necessary to maintain order and decorum in our lunchroom.  if you break these rules, i will chastise you (a bit too loudly) in conversation with my tablemates.  you won't notice, though, because you will have moved tables.

on the 6 train

on the 6 train this afternoon, on my way to becky's school to meet her for lunch:

homeless woman, in a loud voice: "ladies and gentlemen, my husband and i are living at the blah blah shelter and need some money to get back on our feet.  can anyone spare some change?  i sure hope you all have a good day, and thank you."

she walks through the train.

i look down to avoid crazy person eye contact.  my assumption is that homeless people on subway cars are crazy.  particularly ones who command the attention of the whole car and ask for money.

there is a little girl sitting with her dad on the bench across from me.  she is wearing a pink "pirates of the caribbean" tshirt, has a disney princesses sweatshirt, and is wearing disney princesses shoes.  she appears to be 5 or 6.  she shoves her whole arm into her pocket, as little kids do, rummages around, pulls out a quarter, and says "dad, can i?"  he nods, and she stands up and puts the quarter in the homeless woman's bag as she passes by.  it was the tenderest moment, and i couldn't help thinking how much more that quarter must have meant to the girl than it would to me.  and yet she gave it without hesitation.

the only other person to give the woman money is a man missing the top knuckle on the first finger of his right hand.  he drops his book as he gives her the quarter.  "this is all i've got - i'm sorry - it's really all i've got," she says as he gives her the money and picks up his book.

i can't help but wonder if it's a coincidence that the only adult to give her money is missing part of his finger, or if missing part of his finger gives him some better understanding of this woman's pain.  or if i'm reading too much into it.

shake shack

i'm in new york visiting becky for a day before we both go to connecticut for my grandma's 90th birthday party (more on that later).  becky has THE CUTEST new apartment that is probably three times the size of her old apartment, but that is neither here nor there for this post.  last night beck and i went to shake shack for dinner, and if you are ever in new york you must make shake shack a stop on your culinary tour of this city.  their website is here: http://www.shakeshacknyc.com/  their vegetarian burger is a cheese stuffed portobello mushroom, which is then deep fried (so the cheese is all melty and oozy when you bite into it) and put on a bun with lettuce and tomato.  i have never had a veggie burger like this before, and it is heaven.  there are several shake shack locations in new york, and the last time i visited we went to one that was an actual shack (sort of) in madison square park - you waited in a realllllly long (but worth it) line, ordered at a window, and ate outside.  the shake shack we went to last night was more like a restaurant, with indoor seating and the like...and because we ate a little later (8pm-ish), there was virtually no line.  oh, it was delicious.

becky is at work (she teaches 4th grade in the new york public schools), and i have been given step by step directions of how to take the subway to her school so i can have lunch with her and meet her kids.  i will be taking the 6 train at one point, much like jenny from the block (aka j-lo).  (please don't be fooled by the rocks that i've got.)

this post brought to you by the letter G

Today I'm sitting in my office, minding my own business, and my work friend Willis* comes in holding a Tervis Tumbler he has just purchased from our school bookstore.**  He'd apparently lost or misplaced his old Tervis Tumbler, and I agree - once you own one of these things, you can NOT go without.  It keeps your water so cold!  And thus, you drink more water.  Willis holds up the cup and says, "Claire, they didn't have one with a W on it (for Willis).  This is the only one they had that appealed to me.  And they were having a sale.  I got 30% off."  And anyone who knows Willis knows that he loves a good sale.  His tervis tumbler has a capital G in it. 

Fact: Willis came out of the closet four years ago.
Fact: This was not a surprise to anyone.
Fact: G is for Gay.

I was then told that the bookstore manager said, "Willis, what does the G stand for?" And Willis said, "G is for Great!"

Meanwhile, we both know that G is NOT for Great.

Willis will be walking around our school with a G Tervis Tumbler.  As if his Greatness wasn't apparent enough as it is.


*Name changed to protect the innocent.

**Our school bookstore is OUT OF CONTROL.  It sells books and school supplies, yes, but it also sells fancy soaps, jams, fancy serving plates, Hobo wallets, fancy lotions, and Vera Bradley merchandise.  I have heard that our school bookstore is the number one seller of Vera Bradley merchandise in the Southeast.  I don't know if I totally believe this, but it is NOT out of the question.  If you want to spend money, come to our school and spend 10 minutes in the bookstore.