my bad dreams have come true

i have been having bad dreams all about the same thing.

i'm in oxford this summer, except i've been asked to move to work in a different college.

the program i work for is housed in two colleges at oxford (think of it as two dorms at a US college) that are located a five minute walk apart.  i've been at pembroke college, but all three deans from pembroke are returning this summer - whereas only one dean from oriel college is returning.  we've been told that one of us from pembroke would have to move over to oriel to add experience there.  i don't want this to be me.  i love pembroke - both physically (it's beautiful), but more importantly it's where the people i know best live and work.  and we like each other.  and work well together.  so i don't want to move.  none of us want to move.  back to the dream.  is it weird that the dream is in normal font and real life is in italics?  perhaps it's actually that present day is in normal font and explanatory things are in italics.  that seems reasonable.


so i'm working in this other college but instead of it being five minutes away it's like half an hour away and i don't like the people i'm working with and i'm moving super slow when i try to walk back to see my friends and i never get there.

i have had this dream four or five times in the past couple weeks.  in the daytime i'm not nervous about the potential of having to change colleges, but i keep dreaming about it.  i think my unconscious is nervous.  nervous that if i have to change colleges i won't be happy.

yesterday i found out that i have to change colleges.

italics now - but to tell you what the email that formally offered me a contract said: 
I hope this finds you well. After a successful summer last year, [name of the director] is pleased to invite you to return this summer. We are delighted to offer you the position of Program Dean. You will be living in college (Oriel College) with the program and providing residential supervision to students. (The reason for this switch is to provide some additional experience at Oriel, for which [director] is extremely grateful and we hope you understand.)


it makes sense that i would be the one moving - the other two deans in pembroke have more experience with the program than i do - so they ought to have their choice of location.  i'll be fine in oriel.  i like the returning dean there that i'll be working with.  i'm up for the challenge of a new location.  i'll be fine.  i made willis talk through it with me - i am very verbal when it comes to working through problems - and i'll be fine.  of course.  it's not what i want, but it's what i've got.  i'm being positive about it.  the world really will not come to an end.

last night i didn't have a dream about this summer.  i've worked through it in real life, i guess - there's certainty now.  it's concrete.  i'm good with concrete.  my unconscious has moved on.

instead i had a dream i lived in a corn maze and was pregnant.

i cannot explain this dream either...other than i just visited my friend margaret and her three week old twins and they are freaking ADORABLE and i got to snuggle with them and i went a little baby crazy.

i promise that i neither live in a corn maze nor am i pregnant.