december: 34 & 35

look at me, posting this month's reading on time.  two weeks off from work means i sort of have my act together!

this month i read:

dear mr. you, by mary-louise parker (you know how i read some books and i am like STOP EVERYTHING YOU ARE DOING AND GO READ THIS BOOK.  this is one of those books.  kate bought it for me for christmas, and i was intrigued to see the actor mary-louise parker as an author. i wasn't sure what to expect, but this collection of a few dozen letters to men in her life (from her grandfather to son to cab driver to male goat that lives at her weekend house upstate), arranged into a memoir, is amazing.  she is a BEAUTIFUL writer, and the stories range from funny to tender to nostalgic…two or three just didn't click for me (though that's not a bad ratio out of all the letters in the book), and the final story made me weep so much as i read it lying in bed the day after christmas that a pool of tears formed on my pillow and i had to get up and blow my nose and then flip the pillow over so the cool water didn't disrupt my sleep.  YOU MUST READ THIS BOOK, AND FAST.)

the astronaut wives club, by lily koppel (kate lent me this book - it was the month of kate! - which is the story of the wives of the astronauts of the 1960s and 1970s.  it was interesting, and much of it is set just south of houston, which was kind of fun, but the tone was a little tell-all-gossipy and the writing wasn't going to win any awards, so i liked it but didn't love it.  i don't know much about the space missions, though, so i learned a bit as i read!)

what i'm listening to right now

i'm having trouble letting go of christmas music.  still listening.  oops.

this is one that i discovered this year - "love is christmas," by sara bareilles:

november: 30, 31, 32 & 33

in november i read all lady authors, though that wasn't a purposeful choice:

fates and furies, by lauren groff (this was the third morning edition book club pick, so i eagerly found it and read it…and was disappointed.  it's not bad by any stretch of the imagination, but i was not rushing out to tell everyone i knew about this book.  it was…interesting.  the premise is that the first half of the book is the story of a marriage, told from the husband's perspective.  the second half is that marriage told from the wife's perspective, and clearly things are revealed to be different in this telling.  this is one that you are allowed to skip.  redeem yourself, morning edition book club!  i eagerly await your next pick.)

fun home, by alison bechdel (this book got on my radar because it is a graphic novel that has been turned into a broadway musical.  in early november i went to two local independent bookstores that i'd been meaning to check out, and this seemed an excellent book to buy there - since it's not something i'd want to read on a kindle.  i've read several graphic novels and find them a bit cumbersome - i was talking to a friend who is a slow reader, and she loves them because she can marinate on all the pages.  i find them a little hard because i'm used to speeding through books, and that way of reading isn't rewarded when the drawings are just as important as the words.  i liked this book - a beautifully told memoir - and the art is fantastic.  i'm glad i read it!)

circling the sun, by paula mclain (this was our book club pick for november, and it was coincidentally the book my librarian had been encouraging people to read because it was her favorite recent read.  this one didn't quite do it for me.  the time and place - english settlers colonizing africa - was fascinating and must have been an incredibly special way to grow up (if you ignore the colonial issues…), but the action fell a little flat for me.  it made me want to watch out of africa again, but not necessary rave about this book. part of the problem, i think, is that this is a book loosely based on a real person's life…so the author is hemmed in a bit by the real trajectory of the woman's life.)

the glass castle, by jeannette walls (this was a re-read, as we considered it for the all-school summer reading book.  i love this book - i love walls's writing and the story she tells about her childhood is incredible.  this book is sadder than i remembered, but i was once again captivated by it.  i'm glad to have kept it on my shelf.  there's a spate of bad language in this book that may prevent us from using it (argh), but otherwise i think it would be a great read.)

knitting update #3: christmas edition

when my mom and her siblings were little, they had christmas stockings hand-knitted for them.  when my cousins and i were born, my grandma got the pattern and knit us all stockings, as well.  i didn't realize as a child simply how incredible these stockings are, or how wonderful it is to have something handmade and personalized for you - the love that goes into it.

my aunt kathy recently got the pattern from my grandma and made stockings for her son-in-law and daughter-in-law and her first grandchild.  becky wanted one for brandon, so i got the pattern from kathy and set to work.  i had never done intarsia before, which is a knitting technique where you are working with multiple colors at the same time.  you need to use it to create patterns when you knit.  there are some tips i learned on a few websites of how to do this and not create holes in your final product, and i got into a pretty good rhythm as i went.  it's complicated and requires a lot of concentration, but isn't super difficult.

the cool thing about this stocking project is that in every band there are a few different things you can choose from to personalize the stocking.

the beginning stages...i bought wool yarn in six colors and set to work.  i bought graph paper and graphed out each band.  the stockings all have our names and years of birth on the top; i practiced the name band once on scrap yarn and then set to work on the real thing.  ruby "helped."  (though lying on my lap and not attacking the yarn too much actually is a lovely way to help.)

i took this picture of the back of the project so you can see all the different pieces of yarn that you're navigating!  knitting this was not something i could do while watching tv - even mindless tv.

halfway done!  here is my stocking on the right next to the one i was knitting brandon on the left.  at the end you stitch it up the back, so his is still flat at this point.  you can also see some white yarn near the "merry," which is what i pulled out and used those stitches to build out the heel.

completed stocking - front view!

completed stocking - side view - you can see the heel and the toe better from this angle.  for my first heel, i'm pretty proud of it, but i can imagine that this will improve over time.  hopefully there will be little niece and nephew stockings to make some day!

i didn't include a picture of this, but you should know: brandon's stocking is bigger than my own.  it's the same number of stitches in each row and about the same size yarn, but my grandma knitted it up much tighter than i was able to.  my aunt kathy said that happened to her, too, and it just means you can fit more presents inside.  excellent silver lining, kathy. :)

i am inordinately and embarrassingly proud of the final product.  it's my hardest project to day - and a meaningful one.  it's my little "welcome to the family" present for brandon!

knitting update #2: wedding edition

my cousin laura got married in september, and i was a bridesmaid in her wedding, which was a really special experience.  i was so honored to be a part of it!  i love our family.

because i am a crazy knitter AND because i thought laura and josh were just hipster enough to appreciate it :) , i knitted a little bride and groom doll as the gift for their wedding shower.

i think they turned out so well!  modifying patterns to fit different ideas makes me so happy.  these are actually patterns for stuffed bunnies.  for both i changed the yarn colors (obviously), and stuck a little felt tie on the groom and gave him some buttons on his "jacket."  for the bride i built a skirt out from the torso in a seed stitch, which gave it some texture.  the hair was fun to make and turned out okay, but actually not as wonderful as i wanted it to - something to work on for next time.

Spring break plans solidified: Marfa, TX and Big Bend! I'm so excited!

exam day procrastination

all politicians lie.  some lie more than others.

coincidence that the democrats are at the bottom of the list?  i think not.  now bernie, 28% isn't good, but i'll take it in comparison to some of the others on this list...

knitting update

some more things i knitted this year!

baby hat for baby winnie!

i learned how to knit little baby moccasins, so i went through a moccasin and hat phase, sparked by three new babies born to work friends this year.  can we talk about how adorable those shoes are?!  and they are SO EASY to make.

i learned how to cable!  i actually didn't like how this baby hat turned out (partially due to the yarn, partially due to the new-ness of my cabling skills), but i'm excited to try this more in 2016!

more bunnies - always more bunnies!

more knitting posts to come over the next few weeks, as i belatedly fill you in on some other projects from this year!

what i'm listening to right now

"christine," by christine and the queens:


i saw this band on the daily show (which i have only sporadically been watching since jon stewart left, so i'm glad i caught this episode!), and i love how they sound.

i'll tell you right now,
the doors to the world of the wild self are few
but precious.
if you have a deep scar,
that is a door;
if you have an old, old story,
that is a door.
if you love the sky and the water
so much that you almost cannot bear it,
that is a door.
if you yearn for a deeper life,
a full life,
a sane life,
that is a door.

--clarissa pinkola estes

i am someone who finds journaling important, both in the moment and when you can look back on it days/months/years later.  i've been journaling since i was old enough to write, basically, and someday i'll regale you with my ridiculous elementary school journal entries.  but in the meantime:

in 1948, my freshly-married grandparents left the US for a four month stint in england, where they took master's level courses in english literature, as best i can tell.  they were 28 years old.  they journaled - both of them.  when my grandma died, we found the journal, and my cousin sara transcribed it (a labor of love, for sure).  i'm going to post some of my favorite entries in an occasional series going forward.  it's such a personal little look back into a different era and a different version of my grandma.

this entry is written by my grandma on day two of their train trip to new york to get on the boat to england.  cigarettes and beer - love my grandma.

June 21, 1948
Into Chicago at 8a.m. - breakfast, cleansing. Practically ran uptown to look at typewriters, ran back & hopped onto the Pennsylvania for N.Y. Played cards, smoked surreptitiously in “no smoking” car. Off at Pittsburg for a long, cold beer. To the conductor: “How long do we have here?” “Out at 9:40.” “Time for a beer?” “Fifteen minutes. I should think so. I could get away with 3 in that time.”

after a few days in new york, they board the queen mary for england.  this is my grandma writing again.

June 24, 1948
This is our day - to make our Maiden Voyage. About 8:45 when we first see the Queen. All I could do was gasp. She is enormous, making the Borinquen at the next pier look like something in miniature. Went thro’ the lines rapidly - no questions, no trouble. We walked thro’ the ship, getting lost at least 10 times, but 99.9% of the rest of the passengers were too. Very foggy until we were almost ready to hoist anchor when the fog began to lift. We stayed out on deck until lunch time & had to run out of the dining room to see the Lady [the statue of liberty, i assume] as we left the harbor. Quite slow going until we got out of the harbor. Drank bitter British beer and continued to fight our way around the labyrinth. It is amazing: no two turns produce the same picture. There seem to be lounges everyplace - beautiful & spacious, even for those of us who are going in something below the upper 2 classes. Cinemas, bars, restaurants, shops, beauty salons, everything. Met a wonderful young couple with whom we shall eat the rest of the journey - Jerry and Mary Billiter - he a psychiatrist who will work in England for a year, she a clinical psychologist. We danced in the evening & drank more bitter British beer until 11:30. 
Our cabins are small - 4 single bunks. I asked the steward please to leave my trunk in the hall so the girls wouldn’t kick me out. Very comfortable bunks. Safety drill. For horns blowing wildly. 
[written in the top and side margins]: All hepped up about famous personage Harry Richman on board, but was taken down a peg when Mary & Jerry asked if I’d seen the passenger list. We are travelling (several decks apart) with the Duke and Duchess of Windsor Lord Beaverbrook, and several famous psychiatrists. But to me “there’s no business like show business.”I.G.R. Wylie also.

what i'm listening to right now

"chateau lobby #4 (in C for two virgins)," by father john misty:


turns out he's real, master of none fans.  but maybe you are cooler than me and already knew that.

a ruby a day

it's snuggling season!  any warm surface will do.  towels fresh out of the dryer?  check.

a lap? check.

a human lying down?  even better.

a human whose legs are propped on the new ottoman, thus making a perfect cat-shaped bridge between ottoman and couch?  best. option. ever.

if she keeps snuggling, i'll keep taking pictures.  you better not get tired of them.

"the difference between friends and pets: friends we allow into our company, pets we allow into our solitude."
--robert brault

“Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers, but to be fearless in facing them. Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain, but for the heart to conquer it.”
—Rabindranath Tagore (1861-1941)
Poet, Playwright, Essayist

the thanksgiving plan

mom and dad are coming again this year (!), and i love to cook, so i'm already planning our menu.  no turkey again this year (my parents are awesome), but we will have:

--fancy mac & cheese (i learned how to make a roux as a teenager using this recipe; i make it with penne noodles, because penne > macaroni)
--grandma norma's green bean casserole (a must, obviously)
--from the smitten kitchen cookbook, a recipe for roasted eggplant with crispy chickpeas and a yogurt tahini sauce (i haven't tried this recipe before but it looks awesome and could be a quasi-substitute for meat)
--smitten kitchen's kale and caramelized onion stuffing (which both my parents - independent of one another - asked if we could add mushrooms to, because in my family mushrooms are king.  we will be adding mushrooms.  this is another recipe i haven't tried yet but am excited to!)
--brussels sprouts of some sort, perhaps the pioneer woman recipe i've used before and love
--pumpkin pie of some sort, per mom's request (maybe another pioneer woman recipe that becky made one year - it's a pumpkin cream pie, which cuts the super pumpkin-y flavor and consistency of normal pumpkin pie...the exact specifications of this is still up for debate)

basically, this thanksgiving reflects my trio of food inspirations - family + smitten kitchen + pioneer woman.  that about sums up what i eat in everyday life, too...plus a sprinkling of things i learned in cooking classes and things mark bittman taught me how to make.

"no matter how much one may love the world, one can live fully only by living responsibly in some small part of it."
--wendell berry

i have a friend who is vegan, and his birthday was yesterday.  i used it as an excuse to try mark bittman's vegan mexican chocolate pie WHICH WAS OUT OF CONTROL GOOD.  as in, i was licking the blender.  as in, i would make this again and i am not vegan.  it was super easy to make and it came out of the pan pretty well (always my worry - whew) and people liked it!  i only told them it contained tofu after the fact. :)

and the best compliment at all...one of the spanish teachers at school - who grew up in mexico - said it tasted exactly like this hot chocolate that her grandma used to make when she was growing up in mexico.  victory!  thank you, mark bittman.

october: 27, 28 & 29

three books this month!  i'm back on track.

people of the book, by geraldine brooks (i…did not ever get into this book.  this is the book that i read for weeks and weeks, just a few pages every night before i went to bed [because (a) i was so tired from how crazy my job was, and (b) i didn't like this book enough to go to bed early to read it].  this is a fictional story based on the real life sarajevo haggadah - who the author believes wrote and illustrated it, and the path it took from the 1400s to the present.  it was a little too intellectual for me, which makes me sound like i like fluffy books, which isn't quite true.  i don't know - this book didn't do it for me.)

we are called to rise, by laura mcbride (oh, i loved this book.  it's the story of four people in las vegas who start out unconnected and their lives intersect by the end.  a 50-something mother, an elementary school kid, a CASA worker, and a soldier.  it was sad - very sad at points - but somehow also optimistic and uplifting, and i really enjoyed it.  melissa picked this as our book club pick for last month, and she gets a gold star.  i'd highly recommend it!)

david and goliath, by malcolm gladwell (in a surprise move, i found a note i'd written myself in early september that just had this book's title on it, and then i realized i had never included it on the blog AND OMG I READ THIS [LISTENED TO THE AUDIO BOOK] IN SEPTEMBER AND THIS COULD TOTALLY COUNT FOR SEPTEMBER AND I'M NOT [QUITE] AS MUCH OF A SLACKER AS I THOUGHT!  oh, malcolm gladwell, how i like your books.  this book is short pieces on interesting subjects, and there well written and will leave you pondering them after you finish reading [listening].  seriously: if you haven't read any of his stuff you should get on that.)

two days too late (but so true)

"i'm so glad i love in a world where there are octobers."
--anne shirley, "anne of green gables," by l.m. montgomery (a series i devoured when i was in middle school)

what i'm listening to right now

"crop comes in," by chatham county line:

i opened the mail today to find what is possibly the nicest letter i've ever received.  it is out of the blue, as we occasionally email but rarely send real mail to one another.

we are all imperfect.
forgiveness is powerful.
i truly believe that the good we send into the universe will come back to us.

how much of what i do is to make myself feel better vs. how much is to make his life a little better?  because it isn't 100% for him.  i know that.

onward.

i was just reminded of this poem, which i don't think i appreciated enough on obama's inauguration day.  it is speaking to me today.  it is worth a read.  elizabeth alexander, "praise song for the day"

We never know how high we are

Till we are called to rise;

And then, if we are true to plan,

Our statues touch the skies -

--Emily Dickinson 

october 25th = the first day this fall that i have been able to turn the AC off and open my windows to let in the cool night air!

i had a realization, as i threw the windows open, that some people live in a part of the country where they are now closing their windows for good because it's gotten too cold.  what a weird world we live in.

happy fall (63 degrees!) from houston!

it is pouring down rain in houston today - we are getting the outer edges of the hurricane that hit mexico.  it is very weird that we are close enough to mexico that this hurricane is affecting us, but then again, of course we are close to mexico.  i just forget sometimes.

dinner tonight is homemade lentil soup, homemade baguettes, and a chocolate stout.  post-dinner activities will include catching up on the good wife and snuggling with ruby (if she lets me).  a good day.

what i'm listening to right now

i'm late to the game on this one (like usual), but love her voice: "skinny love," by birdy:

september: oops

this is where i admit that i didn't finish a single book in september, for the first time since i started my little reading project.  not a single one.  it turns out that being a college counselor for the first time, and guiding 24 little chickadees and their families through the process is exhausting and does not inspire a person to come home and read the just okay book on the nightstand.  and by nightstand, i mean in my bed, because that's where the book i'm reading always lives.  sigh.

august: 22, 23, 24, 25 & 26

i'm a totally delinquent human being.  this is what i read in AUGUST.  i barely remember august at this point.

where you go is not who you'll be, by frank bruni (this is a book that a colleague lent me - it's about the college admissions process, and spends a great deal of time trying to convince the reader that where you go to college does not define who you will be as an adult.  i didn't learn a ton from this book (which maybe means i know things!  huzzah!), but i agree with almost everything that he says.  i have, in particular, several times now quoted this statistic (which i will now butcher) to parents of kids i work with: the bottom 10% of kids at a harvard, for example, have fewer leadership positions while in school, publish fewer papers, go on to grad school at a lower rate, make less money, etc. than the top 10% of kids at a "second tier" university.    he's trying to say that a student might get more out of being the best at a "second tier" school as opposed to the worst at a "first tier" school.  this is something i believe is probably true.  in short: if you are involved in college counseling or have a kid about to go through the process, this is a worth-while read.)

landline, by rainbow rowell (i read this entire book in one day - the day before i started back to work in august.  it was this glorious day in which i just lazed around the house, reading this book and then playing with ruby and then eating and around again.  it's a few hundred pages but a super easy read, and i finished it that night while lying in bed.  this book symbolizes what you can do in the summer - read a whole book in one day if you want to!  if you haven't read anything by rainbow rowell, you should.  she writes beautiful characters and interesting story lines.  fan girl is the next book of hers that i have on my list!)

angus, thongs and full-frontal snogging, by louise rennin (this is a young adult book that was recommended to me by a friend…and it was mediocre young adult, which means you shouldn't bother. quick read, nothing wrong with it, just not worth the time when there are so many other great books out there.)

the martian, by andy weir (i loved this book!  i'm totally charmed by the idea that the author self-published it on his website and then as an amazon kindle book, and then within three weeks of each other he got a real book deal and then a movie deal.  he does an excellent job building tension and telling a believable science fiction story, and i didn't mind too much the slogging through of the science-y bits.)

mountains beyond mountains, by tracy kidder (i listened to this audiobook, and as evidenced by blog posts along the way here and here, i LOVED it.  my friend other claire bought this book for me years ago, and i can't believe it took me this long to read it.  paul farmer is an american doctor who devoted his life to health care in haiti, and tracy kidder wrote this book about his life and work.  a poignant and meaningful story told by an author with a real talent for telling stories.  this is absolutely worth putting on your "to read" list.)

i'm loving and pondering this right now

it all matters.  that someone turns out the lamp, picks up the wind-blown wrapper, says hello to the invalid, pays at the unattended lot, listens to the repeated tale, folds the abandoned laundry, plays the game fairly, tells the story honestly, acknowledges help, gives credit, says good night, resists temptation, wipes the counter, waits at the yellow, makes the bed, tips the maid, remembers the illness, congratulates the victor, accepts the consequences, takes a stand, steps up, offers a hand, goes first, goes last, chooses the small portion, teaches the child, tends to the dying, comforts the grieving, removes the splinter, wipes the tear, directs the lost, touches the lonely, is the whole thing.
what is most beautiful is least acknowledged.
what is worth dying for is barely noticed.
--from we are called to rise, by laura mcbride.

what i'm listening to right now

"great big storm," by nate ruess - i'm dancing around when this plays just as much as he does in this music video.

bernie 2016

people, i'm on the bernie sanders bandwagon. i saw him speak in houston in august and i honestly agreed with 100% of what he had to say. my hands hurt from clapping so hard. does he have a chance to win? probably not. will i be donating money to him? yes, i will. if his presence in the election can push the democrats to the left, more power to him. if he can give hillary a run for her money, even better. she seems too much like a professional politician for me to support her at this point (though of course i'll support whatever democrat prevails).

(bernie rally at the university of houston!)

what i'm listening to right now

i am in love with this song and darius rucker's voice (but that's old news), and i WILL belt it out in the car whenever it comes on.  some of the lyrics (she hates faulkner?  she's tan in the winter?  she likes billy graham?) are problematic to me, but i do not let that stop me from singing along at full volume.

"southern style," by darius rucker:

october 8, 2015

i'm not exactly sure how to summarize this day.

high: i got to wear jeans and an astros shirt.  go 'stros!

high: amazing cafeteria lunch (roasted tofu, roasted cauliflower, sweet potato wedges, salad).

low: parent meeting that only lasted 26 minutes but made me want to punch an orange water cooler three times and then have someone take me into the locker room.  i'm done, coach.

low: so much work.  at school until 5 and not even close to done.  stresssssss.

high: buying a six pack of dogfish head's namaste beer.  picturing myself drinking the beer while making a birthday cake for two work friends.

low: returning to my car in the grocery store parking lot to find that it won't start.  calling my friend sonia.

high: sonia answers the phone!  sonia arrives with her husband bob!  they have a portable battery…

low: the battery will not jump start my car.  they bang on the starter a little because maybe it is the starter?  nothing happens.

low: sonia drives me and my beer and my bag of groceries home.

high: i do not have to walk home!

low: resigning myself to calling a mechanic at 7am tomorrow when the mechanic opens.  texting my principal to tell him i will be late to work.  drinking a beer on my living room floor.

high: my principal calls me and offers to come and really jump start my car.  my heart is so full.  20 minutes later, we are at my car and he is jump starting it AND IT IS STARTING and he follows me to advance auto parts WHICH IS STILL OPEN and i buy a battery and the dude who works there puts it in.

high: my life is not in shambles any more!

high: tacos from the taco truck!

high: baking cookies!  baking cake!

hi, it's me!  horrible blogger here!  being a college counselor for the first time means my life has become reading essays and resumes and helping kids apply to college and having parents chastise me and having parents tell me how much they appreciate me and having one parent bring me tomato soup and bread on a day when i didn't even have time to make it to the cafeteria (that mom saved the day) and oops i'm supposed to be grading things for my government class but i'm not because i have no time and writing recommendation letters (five due on tuesday, so that should be fun).  and repeat.

i miss blogging.

i promise to come back.

i didn't read a single book last month.  but i promise to do more of that, too.

when do people have time for tv?  no, really.

how to lose weight in 4 easy steps (not safe for work)

hilarious and beautiful, and not what you're expecting.  read it!

what i'm listening to right now

90% of what is on the radio - even the stations i like - is such overplayed crap.  perhaps i will think about this song in a few weeks, but i am loving it now.  "renegades," by x ambassadors:

“And you ask 'what if I fall?' Oh but my darling, what if you fly?”
—Erin Hanson, Poet

what i'm listening to right now

another favorite from a walk in the woods - "the lake," by tim grimm:

 

“Neither a lofty degree of intelligence, nor imagination, nor both together, go to the making of genius. Love, Love, Love. That is the soul of genius.”
—Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

A screenshot a day

Happy first day of fall from Houston!

Overheard walking to the cafeteria

One 7th grade girl to another: "I got this cut on my hand climbing. I'm a good climber. I want to be an American ninja warrior when I grow up."

Oh, sweet one. No high school girl wants to be an American ninja warrior. How do dreams like this die in just a few years? Why can't we all have the bright and shining dreams of a middle schooler? 

what i'm listening to right now

i really enjoyed the movie adaptation of bill bryson's a walk in the woods.  no, it is not super faithful to all the details of the book, but i laughed SO much, i loved the soundtrack, and i felt great nostalgia for the mountains of north carolina, which holds my heart.

this song - "brother," by lord huron - is in the movie and i found it lovely:

what i'm listening to right now

i'm listening to this haunting and beautiful song by an artist i don't know well (some ingrid michaelson music led me to him). the rhythm is stuck in my head right now.  i heard a live (not studio-polished) version first, so that's what i wanted to share with you.

"boys in the street," by greg holden:

when i first got my own class of students, in the fall of 2005, i started what would become a little tradition.  on september 11th of every year, i invited my students - 11th and 12th graders - to share their memories of 9/11 because i think there is power - and catharsis - in telling those stories.  i have very vivid memories of the moment i found out about the attack and the moments after that, and i don't think i'm alone in that.

and every year, my students were younger and younger when 9/11 happened.  stories changed from "i was in middle school" to "i was in elementary school and our teachers didn't want to tell us and then my mom picked me up early" - memories they were only on the periphery of.  today i teach kids born in 1997 and 1998.  they were too young to remember, really, and today i didn't ask them to reflect on it as a class.  14 years.  since my students no longer have personal memories of that day, is it time to call it history?

i'm doing - as you can tell - some reflection today.

a beautiful chart, and a great list of 21st century books to read.  i've read (and loved!) a lot of books on this list!

In the middle of a parent meeting last week, with a dad asking a million questions, all written down in advance in front of him, his wife got up and walked out of the room. She returned and handed him a cup of water and a mini Three Musketeers bar. He looked at her, took a deep breath, said thank you, and unwrapped the candy. "I didn't have lunch," he said. "Work is crazy and the boss is in Spain so we're dealing with the time difference and I knew I had to leave early to get to this meeting and I've been wanting to ask you these questions for a while..." His wife patted his arm and said, "I could tell you hadn't eaten lunch."  He resumed asking his questions, a little calmer and a little slower. His wife smiled at me.

This. This is love. 

a ruby a day

how to catch a cat, by miss claire:

step 1: lie down on a sunny spot on the floor.
step 2: wait.

“Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones.”
—Phillip Brooks

what i'm listening to right now

"on top of the world," by imagine dragons:


this was the final song played at christie's wedding a few weeks ago, and i loved dancing to it with her and all my friends!

"You should have a sign on your door," a mother said to me this afternoon, in the middle of a meeting with her daughter and husband and me about where her daughter is applying to college. "Therapist, it should say. And below it: I also do college counseling."

I laughed and was a little touched. It's a great - and not untrue - compliment to receive. 

last night at a parent program at school, i was walking into the room at the same time as some parents i have known for two years.  the mom gave me a hug and then ran her hands over my hair.  "look at your doll hair!," was her first comment.  "oh yes," i said as i laughed awkwardly, "it's gotten really long - i need a haircut!"  

doll hair?!  i don't even know what to make of this.  my hair hasn't gotten REALLY long…it's just a smidge longer than normal…but i didn't know what else to say.  i think this is a compliment and i will totally take it, but i'm laughing to myself a bit.

the fact-based sassiness of this article pleases me: what donald trump was up to while john mccain was a prisoner of war

what i'm listening to right now

from the finale of the daily show with jon stewart, this gorgeous song - "land of hope and dreams," by bruce springsteen:


i must admit that i have a tiny crush on bruce.  how can you not?!

the late, great stephen colbert - this is a truly remarkable article.  interesting in what you learn about how he's transitioning to the late show, but don't read it for that.  read it for the second half, where he talks about love and loss and being grateful.  i don't think i'll ruin things by sharing the last paragraph:

The next thing he said I wrote on a slip of paper in his office and have carried it around with me since. It's our choice, whether to hate something in our lives or to love every moment of them, even the parts that bring us pain. “At every moment, we are volunteers.”

or sharing this, from a few paragraphs earlier:

I asked him if he could help me understand that better, and he described a letter from Tolkien in response to a priest who had questioned whether Tolkien's mythos was sufficiently doctrinaire, since it treated death not as a punishment for the sin of the fall but as a gift. “Tolkien says, in a letter back: ‘What punishments of God are not gifts?’ ” Colbert knocked his knuckles on the table. “ ‘What punishments of God are not gifts?’ ” he said again. His eyes were filled with tears. “So it would be ungrateful not to take everything with gratitude. It doesn't mean you want it. I can hold both of those ideas in my head.”

beautiful and thoughtful.  read this article.

a ruby a day

Early morning conversations with her friend Frederick, on the next balcony over, whom she has never met in person. Is Frederick inviting her out to play? Taunting her with his freedom? Is this the first time they've met like this, or do they regularly commune through the window? We may never know.  All I know is that she had no interest in me this morning. 

more stuff i've been cooking that has turned out great:

smitten kitchen's buttermilk salad dressing (i hate the chemical-y flavor and the gloop-y texture of store bought salad dressings, but that sometimes stops me from having salad at home because oil and vinegar is only so interesting.  this salad dressing is solving lots of problems!)

then i made pioneer woman's tomato tart and about died of happiness.  i made my own pie crust (because, people: it is so easy.  the best pie crust i've ever made - so now it's the only pie crust i make - is julia child's.  of course it is.  i am so classy).  but back to the tart: it's got a layer of caramelized onions!  and then a layer of delish roasted tomatoes!  and there's some cheese!  and julia child's pie crust underneath!  this is absolutely worth making immediately.  it is savory and perfect and reheated great for lunch the next day.

oh, that's right: the pie crust did not fill the pan that it was supposed to fill.  don't worry!  just have half of it be ugly.  that's my solution!

I ate a yogurt for breakfast instead of a breakfast taco. I went to yoga after school instead of taking a nap. I ate homemade brown rice and roasted veggies (with a peanut sauce) for dinner instead of, well, more tacos. Who am I?! First day of school - off on the right foot!

another fantastic bit of mountains beyond mountains, when the author is recounting a story from when paul farmer started dating his wife:

"at some point, paul said [to his friend ophelia], 'tell me about your family.'  many years later a friend of hers would offer this recipe for seduction: go out to dinner and say, 'tell me about your life.'  ophelia would think of paul and how, when he said those words, he made so many people feel he cared about only them in that moment."

a recipe for seduction: go out to dinner and say, "tell me about your life."

oh, how true.  how infrequently we are asked to talk about ourselves to someone who listens with all their being.  seduction, indeed.

mark bittman's asparagus pesto is incredibly good and you should try it immediately.  i had some asparagus that was about to go bad in the fridge, but i didn't know how i wanted to eat it.  i imagined asparagus pesto would be good, and googled it and found this (so simple, so easy) recipe.  i ate it over pasta with peas and it was an excellent decision.  this is definitely going in my weeknight dinner rotation!

i'm listening to mountains beyond mountains, by tracy kidder, which is about american doctor paul farmer and his work in the developing world, mostly in haiti.  i have owned this book for a LONG TIME, but as i've said here before, i have trouble motivating myself to read nonfiction in my free time because it requires more concentration than i want to expend when i read in bed, which is when the majority of my reading happens.  audiobooks allow me to get the nonfiction i want in a form that works for me.

i found this portion of the book so poignant:

farmer is asked, when traveling to russia to do work on a TB outbreak in russian prisons, "is america a democracy?"

farmer answers, "i think whenever a people has enormous resources, it's easy for them to call themselves democratic….americans are lazy democrats."

so so true.  i rewound the CD in the car and recorded this portion on my phone to transcribe here.  we are lucky in that we can be lazy democrats.  we don't have to fight every day for our freedoms.  we take them for granted.  the hard work was done centuries ago, with upkeep along the way.

i take my democracy for granted.  something to ponder and to appreciate.

what i'm listening to right now

"geronimo," by sheppard - another song with a great beat that i have a hard time not dancing to:

“The problems of the world cannot possibly be solved by skeptics or cynics whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities. We need men who can dream of things that never were and ask 'why not'?”
—John F. Kennedy

this is my life:

chilly at work?  office formula was designed for men

except not right now.  the air conditioning broke in my office, so right now i have fans (plural) aimed at me while they order a new part that they need.  ugh.

There is nothing more frustrating than being forced to check your carry on suitcase because there is supposedly no overhead storage space left, and then getting on the plane to find plenty of overhead storage space. Please don't outright lie to me. 

Currently trying to get my rage under control. 

My brain waffles on the death penalty. I think that one of my greatest strengths as an educator is my ability to see and advocate for both sides of an argument. My brain can understand why people support the death penalty. My brain wants the death penalty sometimes - some crimes seem so horrendous. 

But my heart knows what I really believe.  In the email inbox on my phone I can often only see part of the subject line on an email. My heart reads "breaking news: Boston marathon bomber sentenced..." or "breaking news: Colorado gunman gets..." and my heart pleads to open the email and read "life sentence."  I just opened such an email, saying out loud as I did, "oh please let it be..." and today it was. 

cat lady musings

while vacuuming today, i mentally wrote this post.

things ruby is scared of that make sense:
-the vacuum cleaner (she doesn't go under the bed - her normal hiding spot - but instead on a counter…which is quite logical, actually, since the vacuum cleaner comes very close to the bed and not at all near the high up counter)
-really loud thunder and lightening (this scares me, too, ruby, so i understand entirely)

things ruby is scared of that are ridiculous:
-the door bell.  even if it is on tv, she will hide under the bed immediately.  chill out, lady.  and she doesn't listen to me when i yell "it's on tv!"

things ruby is not scared of that i would expect her to be:
-the garbage disposal (she is not fazed, even if she is in the kitchen when it happens)
-the ice maker plopping ice down (please let the record show that sometimes this terrifies me when i am home alone and forgot i turned it on, but ruby is cool with it)
-the dryer when it buzzes super loudly when it is done (ditto - i jump every time and ruby is totally fine)

what i'm listening to right now

"photograph," by ed sheeran:

(p.s. i am totally captivated by this video, which is home videos of ed sheeran growing up.)

a ruby a day

my dad has "floor time" with his dog, abby, almost every night.  he crawls down on the floor and pets/massages/forces this dog to snuggle with him.  this is how he maintains the title of dog whisperer.

ruby and i have some floor time most days when i come home from work.  i sprawl, exhausted, on the living room floor and she comes over to see me in between bites of dinner.  there is head butting and petting and forced snuggling and i play words with friends on my phone when she wanders into the kitchen for more dinner.  love this girl.

a fascinating article: this is what happens to your heart when you dive into the sea.

"The moment your face submerges in the sea’s salty waters, a Hulk-like metamorphosis will trigger. Blood will begin rushing from your hands and feet, up your legs and arms, and into your core; your heart rate will reflexively lower 25% its normal rate; your mind will enter a meditative, almost dreamlike-state. If you choose to dive deeper, the transformation will grow more profound until you bear only a passing resemblance to your terrestrial form. You will become a water animal — a fish, essentially. Scientists call this transformation the mammalian dive reflex or, more lyrically, the Master Switch of Life."

"Human blood has a chemical composition 98% similar to seawater. An infant will reflexively breaststroke when placed underwater and can comfortably hold his breath for about 40 seconds, longer than many adults. We lose this ability only when we learn how to walk."

july: 18, 19, 20 & 21

july's pleasure reading was a bit disrupted by a 224 page course reader of supreme court cases and analysis for the seminar i went to at stanford at the end of july.  it was slow going, and my fun reading suffered a smidge for it.  but i still read four books!  none of which i'm head over heels for, though.  june's excellent luck with books couldn't last.  this month i read:

we were liars, by e. lockhart (do you have a stomach bug?  are you vomiting profusely?  well, as someone who experienced this over 4th of july weekend, i can tell you from experience that the next day you should read this book, when you don't have the energy to do anything else.  it is so cliche at points and the characters are so annoying most of the time and i am not telling you to read this book.  unless, as i said, you are confined to a couch.  i have heard great things about OTHER e. lockhart books, though, so perhaps you should check them out and leave this one alone.)

at the water's edge, by sara gruen (everything that you predict will happen in this book…happens in this book.  i was a little disappointed that it didn't live up to my huge expectations from the author's previous novel water for elephants, which is one of my favorite books of all time.  sigh.  this is a fine little summer read, and i didn't dislike it, but i will just take this opportunity to tell you to read water for elephants instead.)

a land more kind than home, by wiley cash (this is a debut novel that takes place in the north carolina mountains [and we've already established that i love books set there], about a church that deals in snake handling and laying on of hands and the consequences of that for one family.  if this sounds interesting to you, this is a great addition to add to your list!  but again [theme for the month!] i won't necessarily be proselytizing about this one the next time i see you, like i still am for deep down dark.)

i am the messenger, by markus zusak (ugh, month of loving authors' other books more!  this was no book thief.  it was an a-okay young adult read with an interesting plot structure [the main character receives playing cards with names on them and he has to figure out what those people need in their lives], but it was no book thief.  read the book thief.)

stories from the shuttle bus

After asserting confidently - and multiple times - that she was not given a ticket indicating where she'd parked in the parking lot, the woman on the airport parking shuttle bus took two seconds to look in her bag and there she found her ticket. Of course she did. 

I am so tired of (a) other people and (b) traveling. Glad to be home!

a screenshot a day

24 degrees cooler here than it is in Houston right now = happy Claire. 

a photo a day

on monday night i had excellent thai food with my friend elliot and his brother…and then i convinced them (it didn't take much convincing) to pop next door to a place called chez beignet, where i ordered, with great enthusiasm, a raspberry filled beignet…and then the woman working there gave us three.  "i wanted you to be able to try all the flavors!"  omg look at the joy on my face and the huge beignets in front of me:

elliot's brother tried a little bit of all three and proclaimed the chocolate one his favorite.  i downed the raspberry one…and then the chocolate one (oops).  vanilla was fine, but the raspberry one - oh it was amazing.  i need to find an excuse to go back there again soon…it's a bit out of the way, but that beignet is enough reason to find my way back to that neighborhood.

the book i'm reading right now - a land more kind than home, by wiley cash, a new southern writer - begins with this epigraph, from which the book gets its title.  a beautiful few lines that i hadn't read before:

something has spoken to me in the night…and told me i shall die, i know not where.  saying:
"[death is] to lose the earth you know, for greater knowing; to lose the life you have, for greater life; to leave the friends you loved, for greater loving; to find a land more kind than home, more large than earth."
--thomas wolfe, you can't go home again

i went on an adventure!  well, really i was just stir-crazy and googled "hikes in houston" and this appeared and i went with it.  a 30 minute drive to the other side of town, and i found cullen park, with a 6.5 mile long paved trail that is mostly in the shade (this is the ONLY way to walk outside in houston in july).  i saw a dozen or so people walking and biking while i was there, but otherwise had the trail to myself.  just me and my ipod and my sweat.  i only walked 3.5 of the miles, but in the 90 degree heat and humidity, this was a good enough workout for me.

the best part is that the path goes by a 19th century cemetery!

one of these guys fought in the "indian wars"!

excellent adventure.  now i will stay inside for days on end until i forget about how truly hot it was and venture out again.

a ruby a day

1. ribbons are ruby's favorite toy - i think they must look like an animal's tail when i slither them around on the ground, and ruby loves to stalk and pounce on them.

2. when your cat is this cute and smart, you have to let the whole world know.

a screenshot a day

Houston's 10 day forecast = GRIM.

optimism aside.  optimism for another post.  visiting someone in prison inherently sucks.  up at 5am, 3 hour drive, stand in line outside for 2 hours and 15 minutes.  outside.  july.  louisiana.  85 degrees, sun beating down.  old people, babies, a man with a cane, a woman with what i assume is cerebral palsy.  i can't complain too much about the heat, the sweat pouring off of me, because they are doing it, too.  met a woman who drives up from miami.  15 hours.  met a couple who drive in from west texas.  9 hours.  almost everyone is middle class at best.  there is shade by the building, but we don't wait there.  we wait where they tell us to, in the middle of the parking lot.  every half hour or so, the call from the building "10 more!" "15 more!" "6 more!"  we trudge up, finally, to present our IDs and our loved one's prisoner number.  go through a metal detector.  leave behind whatever they deem problematic (the kroger card attached to my keys?  problematic.).  finally into the visitor's room, four hours with the person we've come to see.  everywhere you look, someone's private moments on display.  arbitrary rules.  stories of the guards cracking down after the prison escapes in new york and mexico.  i can't begin to comprehend what being in prison is like, but my little taste is enough to know it's not good.  they did this to themselves, of course.  to their families and friends.  i'm mad at them for that.  furious that they have made these loved ones sacrifice to see them.  that they are loved despite it.  even though i care for my friend despite it.  it's hard not to.  all these people in the visitor's room…and these are the ones whose loved ones come.  the lucky ones?  i don't know any more.  3 hours back home, mentally exhausted.  take out food, tv, cat who doesn't want to snuggle.  icing the heat rash i've acquired on my legs from those 2 hours and 15 minutes outside, the sunburn along the hemlines that the sunscreen didn't quite get.  i'm a lucky one; i get to leave.  i'm a lucky one; it's not my dad or brother or husband or child's father who has been left behind until the next visit.  i stayed until the end and couldn't watch the other goodbyes.  had to turn away from the reality of the goodbyes.  pit in my stomach.  he may just be my friend.  but it's still really hard.

a Ruby a day

In my house, you cannot be this cute/ridiculous and expect to get away with it without me taking at least four pictures. Miss Ruby discovered two shirts that needed to go to the dry cleaners (and now REALLY need to go to the dry cleaners) and made them her bed for a little morning nap. Never mind that they are on top of shoes and can't possibly be comfortable; I have learned in two years of being a cat mama that you shouldn't try to tell your cat what is comfortable. 

i knew a fair amount of this (the first five minutes or so), but was slightly clueless beyond that.  this video from bloomberg business really helped bring clarity - it's worth your time!

i have been practicing yoga, by my calculations, for nine years.  a long time!  it has ranged from yoga three times a week (during vacations from work) to yoga twice a week (when i'm in a good rhythm) to yoga once a week (when work gets crazy) to yoga once in a blue moon (when i forget how good it is for me)…and back and forth and in between.  as it is summer, i'm in the three times a week phase, hoping to stay in the twice a week rhythm even when work gets into full swing.

nine years, and sometimes - like monday - i feel so powerful.  my breathing aligns with my movements, i know sun salutation A and B like the back of my hand, and i'm going through it with no verbal cues.  i could do a hundred of them (well, my brain thinks it could), can sit so low in chair pose, my balance is perfect in tree pose, i kick up into a handstand, the instructor picks the perfect chest opener and i stretch all my issues away.  that was yesterday.  that was nine years of yoga practice paying off.

sometimes - like today - i fall out of my handstand and am frustrated that others pop into it so easily, my mat is too firm and my towel too slippery, the poses selected strengthen my quads too much and stretch out my hamstrings not enough, the music is off, and the supine leg twists at the end barely redeem it all.  and that is nine years of yoga practice, too.  and i will feel great afterwards either way.  and i will go back and it will be better next time.

a Ruby a day

Peaceful dozing on the windowsill.

a ruby a day

A certain kitty seems to have picked up a cold at her boarding place - she's been sneezing up a storm for the past few days (though is otherwise acting normal). If you need us, we'll be on the couch watching Bloodline. 

nine lives

my cousin robin (a fellow cat lover) sent me this link and OMG THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT ISTANBUL IS LIKE and i cannot wait to see this documentary.

in honor of that, i think you all need to see a slow-mo video of me loving on a stray cat in istanbul (yes, i know i got bitten by a stray cat this fall but i clearly cannot help myself):

a ruby a day

I am lying on the couch. I get up to get a drink and find Ruby snuggled up to a DOOR STOP. She picked a door stop over me on the couch. I can't even.

june: 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 & 17

so much reading in my first month of summer - and all really fantastic books!  i'm checking books out of the library at school and crossing them off my endless "to read" list at a good clip.  this month's reading includes no books that i was obligated to read - july will be quite different, with two books to read for school and one to read for a conference i'm going to.  but we can worry about that later!

this month i read:

orphan train, by christina baker kline (i actually read this in may [i thought may's numbers looked low!] - and somehow forgot it until after posting about may's books.  this is a fictional account of a real life event - orphans from new york city being sent to the midwest by train to be adopted in the early 1900s.  in the book we get the story of one such orphan alongside the story of a modern day girl in the foster care system.  it was an easy read, and i love historical fiction.  i'd recommend it!)

a god in ruins, by kate atkinson (remember when i told you about the morning edition book club?  this is their pick from may, and since i really enjoyed life after life when i read it two years ago, i doubly wanted to read this one.  and it was fantastic!  it's the story of the brother teddy from life after life [though you don't need to read that book to understand this one], told at various times in his life.  you jump from old age to WWII [which is the real focus of the book] to becoming a parent and around again.  i got a lot out of listening to NPR's interview with atkinson after i read the book, so i'd recommend that you do that, too.  the bottom line is: if you haven't read a kate atkinson book, you are really missing out.  i love the way she tells stories and i love her "voice"!)

the road from gap creek, by robert morgan (this is the sequel to an earlier book by morgan - this one follows the children of the characters in the original book.  it takes place in the mountains of north carolina - my favorite setting - in the 1940s.  it's sad but well written, and i'm glad i read it.)

the storied life of a.j. fikry, by gabrielle zevin (this is a super quick read about a bookstore owner, with chapters titled and themed by books.  this isn't the most profound book in the universe, but i really enjoyed it and it would be a great book to bring along on vacation!)

the buried giant, by kazuo ishiguro (i LOVED never let me go, and was excited to read the newest book by ishiguro.  this book is so different in tone - but not in a bad way - and the story is intriguing, the setting described so vividly, and i didn't know where the adventure was going but i was excited to go on it alongside the characters.  this is a book where i kept thinking the author was doing something deeper than i was fully grasping, but i think i understood this book on the 80% level, which i'll take.  ishiguro is a beautiful writer, and i am glad i read this book.)

deep down dark, by hector tobar (this was the morning edition book club pick from december - so now i am fully caught up on my morning edition reading and can't WAIT for them to tell me what to read next!  ann patchett chose this book, which she said was one of only a few books in her life that made her cry.  when she talked about it with others, she realized that they had all cried at different parts of the book.  i listened to this audiobook in the car, and it was the kind of book that i was telling EVERYONE about, unsolicited, during the month or so while i was listening to it.  i knew the story - that 33 miners were trapped underground in chile in 2010 for 69 days - and i knew they were found and made it out alive.  but i'll be damned if i didn't cry when the drill found them on day 17.  and then again when the first miner made it to the surface 52 days later.  and i think that tells you so much about this book - you know how it will end and it is incredibly moving and captivating anyway.  the author is the only person authorized to tell the miners' story, and he does an amazing job taking us between the surface, where the miners' families wait, and below ground where the miners wait.  i cannot recommend this book highly enough. you should be reading it RIGHT NOW.)

station eleven, by emily st. john mandel (i love a post-apocalyptic story, and this one takes place immediately before and then 20 years after a plague kills 99% of people on earth.  the plot revolves around a group of classical musicians / shakespearean actors who travel around the great lakes region performing to the remaining people in the remaining towns.  the dust jacket proclaimed that this would be a book that i didn't even know i needed to read, and it was shockingly kind of right.  i really liked the premise and the story line was richly described - it was a book where i had no trouble visualizing the setting or the characters on their travels.  i read it quickly and would highly recommend it!)

more cooking fun

i'm back at home for a day before heading back to houston tomorrow night.  there were five nearly-dead bananas on the kitchen table, so i went to smitten kitchen again for advice, and she told me to make jacked-up banana bread (on the left - it's your basic banana bread recipe, though presumably extra delicious) and double chocolate banana bread (on the right - which was really just single chocolate banana bread when i made it - only cocoa powder - no chocolate chips).

we put the regular banana bread in the freezer and are halfway through the chocolate one.  delish!  it's super moist and dessert-y without being overly sweet.  and there are bananas in it, so it's obviously good for us.  duh.

a photo a day

Yesterday:

12noon: hanging out with Doc Watson in downtown Boone!

1pm: eating what I proclaimed to be the best sandwich of my life, from my favorite sandwich shop in Boone. 

4:30-10pm: throwing up every hour on the hour in what was the most sick I've been since 1999 (this kind of sick - you remember this kind of sick).  Was it the best sandwich of my life or a bug that a friend brought with her?!?  We may never know. 

Thank god yesterday is over. 

more farm cooking

i hate yellow squash, which is why making squash soup for my parents' freezer was so perfect, because i was getting rid of squash but i didn't have to eat it myself YAY.  but there is SO MUCH SQUASH in the garden, so i tried another smitten kitchen recipe (i heart that woman and her cooking) for herbed summer squash pasta bake and we had it for dinner last night and omg i actually liked it.  i think i liked it because the squash was cooked on high heat and thus scorched and not mushy (mushy squash is my enemy).  the sauce isn't like mac and cheese sauce - it's more subtle - and the parmesan on top made it crunchy and perfect.  good job once again, smitten kitchen!

stocking the freezer before i leave the hip replacement patient!

both are smitten kitchen recipes - zucchini fritters:

and summer squash soup:

so.  many.  squash.  in.  the.  garden.

a ruby a day

We haven't done a Ruby and mama sweaty-post-workout-lying-on-the-floor selfie in a while. I know you missed this.

Also, does it may me more of a cat lady that I am postponing for as long as I can packing for my next trip because it stresses Ruby out? Wait, actually...don't answer that. 

“The idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that is wrong with the world.”
―Paul Farmer

final AP reading numbers

1,800 essays graded!

Each tick mark represents a packet of 25 essays, and yes: we really do count the packets like prisoners in movies count the days on prison walls. 

But now that I have been back in Houston for almost a week, I've forgotten how painful it was the read all those packets. Amnesia!

what i'm listening to right now

i'm currently binge watching season two of rectify, a fictional tv show that imagines what life is like for a man, his family, and his small town when he is released from prison after 20 years on death row.  this song played over the credits recently, and i thought it was beautiful - and then discovered that it's a band i know and love!

"the wine we drink," by drew holcomb and the neighbors:

i am not a religious person.  let's start there.

but i worked for six years at an episcopal school, and it was really a very important experience for me.  there were things i was quite skeptical of (the virgin birth) and things i questioned (raising millions for a new church when that money could be put towards easing suffering).  but i saw religion used for so much good - to build schools in haiti both before and after the earthquake, the fundraise to pay for tuition for haitian kids, to teach kindness and love to those around us.  the episcopalians are incredibly welcoming, and that school welcomed me in so many ways, not just during those weekly chapel services.

if you take the god out of it, all of the lessons of jesus are ones we can follow and should follow and are hard to follow but are ideals we should aspire to.

i learned some songs in those weekly chapel services that have become very special to me: god of our fathers, seek ye first, and this one, which we sang frequently during my last year at the school:


since hearing about the shooting in the charleston church i have been thinking of this word and this song frequently: sanctuary.  this morning, after NPR reported on the first services back in that church since the shooting, i played this song off of youtube on my drive to work and cried and then played it a second time.

sanctuary:
1. how horrific that a church - a sanctuary - could be breeched in this way.  though a church is not my sanctuary, we cannot deny that for many it is quite an important one.
2. my job as a teacher and our job as a school is to be a safe space, an ear to listen, to take students as they come.  i don't think i had put it in those words before this morning.  i have been repeating that phrase: i'll be a living sanctuary.