blood drive fail

today, 8:15am: i check in at the blood drive on campus.  all is going well.  i haven't given blood since shortly after college, when i was denied for having too low an iron level.  womp womp.  but since the drive was on campus and we were encouraging students to give, i decided to give it a try.

8:30am: i am seated in the chair.  i tell the phlebotomist (vocab word of the day!) that sometimes (read: usually) they have trouble finding a vein, and that sometimes (read: a couple times) i've gotten dizzy while donating.  she seems unconcerned.

8:40am: she tries to find a vein.  for a while.  then she calls over another lady who also tries to find a vein.  for a while.  this doesn't feel good, if you've never experienced it.  lady #2 eventually finds a vein.  life is good.

8:45am: all of a sudden, i am about to throw up and the world is going grey.  awesome.  as this has happened before, i'm not necessarily freaking out, just feeling tragic.  before i can even alert them of this fact, bad-vein-finder asks me if i feel okay.  i tell her i do not.  she tips me back, saying my lips had turned blue.  bad-vein-finder is really nice to me.  i am friends with her again.  i continue to feel tragic, while another woman gives me sips of blue powerade.  i spend approximately 5 minutes here, trying not to die.  i do not die.  i feel better!  my veins do not.  they stop giving blood.  bad-vein-finder-friend tips me forward.  approximately 1 minute later i feel tragic again.  i am tipped back.  they are making me cough (um, why?).  i am making a small scene.  TRAGEDY.  i am still diligently pumping my fist.  they laugh and tell me to stop.  the needle is out.  I HAVE FAILED.  but i am alive.  in this moment, that is all that matters.

i have never failed before.  i have felt bad, but always been able to make it through and donate a full pint.  this is important, because they prep the bags with the anticoagulant (i kind of made that up - they prep the bags with something) that is pre-measured to work with a full pint.  if you don't give a full pint, they can't use any of it.  ugh.

so...i know that giving blood is a good and important thing, and i want to give blood.  i think, now, that i need to throw in the towel.  good try, miss claire.  but this is not for you.